Yes, I am the great appeaser.
No one has appeased more dictators
And presidents for life than me.
Bring me your rich and powerful,
Rulers with an iron fist, thieves
And scumbags and I get warm and fuzzy
Thinking about all that unmoored force
And how with a little magic
My weakness becomes a blooming money tree.
Appeasing if done right demands
A refined sense of cruelty.
No one should be spared, including
Kids who may be sick or hungry,
The old, the disabled, anyone who
Might invoke some moral sense of shame.
I’d steal a cardboard box the poor call home
If my Afrikaner friends thought it right.
Veterans, I’ll screw you because I can.
I reconciled to my ex-wife’s demise
Because Vlad told me falls just happen.
I danced a two-step with a pudgy guy
And laughed when he said anti-aircraft rounds
Had cut a disloyal general in half.
I’ve had generals who could use a burst.
Dear Neville Chamberlain wipe your eyes
You can’t appease with just a sigh.
Groveling, money and lies make the man.