And the suns gazed down on the planet of the liberals. There was Avarice,
Demagoguery, Materialism and Sloth – there was Treason – and there was
Death. There was Deunionization, with the head of a rat and the body of a
Lizard, screaming at her three sons who were still living in the basement.
The first had a law degree; the second, a PhD; and the third, a medical degree.
The eldest hung himself the following morning. There was Careerism, dressed
In a clown costume, and climbing a tremendous ladder upside down, its red
Nose bumping up against each rung. There was Tolerance, incarcerating black
People with one hand, and bombing brown people with the other. There was
Identity Politics, riding an enormous vulture, fomenting tribalism with a pair
Of bellows, and laughing hysterically as the proletariat went up in flames.
There was Humanitarian Intervention, happily handing out weapons to Nazis
And jihadists. There was Madness, with a right arm that was tattooed with
The word Left, and a left arm that was tattooed with the word Right. A parrot
Was perched on its shoulder that kept saying “birds of a feather flock together”
Over and over again. There was Diversity, dressed in a priest’s garb, tracking
Children of color into the lowest level classes. There was Multiculturalism,
With the latest flamethrower model, burning Dickens, Shakespeare, Sophocles
And Homer, and then marveling at all the learning disabilities. There was
Delusion, a Cyclops that saw a dead fish floating in a bog, thought it was a
Beautiful princess, and fell in love. There was Meritocracy, an ape sitting behind
A mahogany desk in a huge office on the forty-seventh floor, with a sign on the
Door that said New York Times Chief Sociopathy Officer. There was Academia,
Dressed in a Brooks Brothers tuxedo, reading an article about how there was
.00001% unemployment. There was Fundamentalism, raving about damnation,
And sitting atop a flying mule. In one hand the creature held a copy of The New
Yorker, and in the other, a bag of vomit. On the head of the beast were branded
The words Christian Fundamentalism; on the body, Islamic Fundamentalism; and
On its tail, Zionism. Indeed, with such sages gathered round, it was clear the
Heavens had come calling. And so the jackboots fell, innocents were slaughtered,
While tyranny reigned unto the too cold night.