Fragments of Absurd and Tedious Undertaking

Fragments of an  unpublished dialog, purported to have been written by Plato, were recently unearthed in Athens, and include numerous mention of the ancient Greek philosopher, Acidophilus.

Though there is some controversy, among scholars in the field at least — that is, the “field” of Philosophy, as well as the actual field in which the scrolls were found — many of whom claim that these scrolls are not drafts and notes from the papyrus-pad of Plato — samples of which contained significant trace-elements of the ancient hallucinogen, daeolus —  but that of Acidophilus himself.

Here’s one of the fragments printed in the article I happened to come across while researching investment opportunities in Auction Houses, specifically of Antiques, as well as major Museum and Library endowments.

Hey, it was a coincidence. One of those sperm-of-the-moment things. Like, really.  I’m not kidding, man.  Honest.

The fragment below appears to have been part of a longer dialog:

Socrates: An unexamined life is not worth living.

Acidophilus:  Quite true, my dear Socrates, my pudgy pedophile, my gregarious cherub, but to examine one’s life in sufficient detail would require at least one other life-time devoted exclusively to this absurd and tedious undertaking. Don’t have time for that shit. Gotta pay the bills, man. Gotta cover that monthly nut. Like, you know?

Acidiphilus, before his damnation to /dev/null for tipping the scales, had been one of the foremost philosophers of ancient Greece, and would have been remembered as such, had not that cut-throat confidence-man, Plato, not sold him out on a publishing deal regarding rights to The Master's ink persona. Though a student of Socrates along with Plato, Acidophilus's philosophy might be considered more akin the the pre-Socratics, the Ptolemaists, or the San Francisco Merry Pranksters. The term "philosophy" referred to a spectrum of intellectual pursuits back in "the day." Acidophilus's area of philosophical expertise might be categorized in our own era of specialization as "psychology," as so many have between Aristotle and Freud. Specifically, Acidophilus was what we today might call a psycho-pharmacologist. Dr. Feelgood to the Ancients... Read other articles by Acidophilus.