Friends, Patriots, True Americans

Friends, patriots and true Americans; lend me your prejudice.

Building a pseudo-mosque at almost Ground Zero is an outrage and Obama and the Muslims behind this constitutionally protected project should be forcibly restrained. But we can’t quit there.

All the street addresses and multi-story building floor numbers around Ground Zero are depicted with Arabic numerals and this is disrespectful to the casualties and surviving family members of  IX/XI.

This insidious, Islamo-Fascist number system was introduced in Europe by Arabs from Northern Africa during the tenth century, and it infiltrated our nation through colonialism.

It’s time to stop the march of the Muslim in this country for good, so we must revert to the Roman numeral system and abandon the mathematical language of Mohammadan enlightenment.

And the same goes for Algebra. The founder of modern Algebra (derived from the Arabic term al-jabr) was Abu Abdallah Muhammad ibn Nusa al-Khwarizmi. That’s right. Al Qaeda before there was Al Qaeda. And their treacherous message of mathematical genius has been poisoning the minds of our Western youth ever since!

The Ground Zero mosque must be stopped. Roman numerals must be reinstated. And Algebra must be replaced with Go Fish.

Desperate times call for disparate measures.

Native Texan E.R. Bills is the author of Texas Obscurities: Stories of the Peculiar, Exceptional and Nefarious and Texas Oblivion: Mysterious Disappearances, Escapes and Cover-Ups. Read other articles by E.R..

19 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Don Hawkins said on August 18th, 2010 at 9:19am #

    Does this mean I can’t watch the history channel anymore? I like reading between the lines. x2 = x + 1

  2. hayate said on August 18th, 2010 at 10:14am #

    Good satire. Put this in a major american newspaper and probably half the people reading it would think it was serious and would agree with it.

  3. shabnam said on August 18th, 2010 at 10:33am #


    Don’t trust the writer. He has chosen to spread his hidden prejudice against Muslims this way and get away with it. He thinks we are fools. This clever way can sell his prejudice to many ignorant Americans who are millions of them. Thanks to the Zionist media and their stooges under the mask of ‘journalists’. This kind of post can easily fool more than 50% of Americans, that’s why this style has been chosen. Behind the campaign against Ground Zero is under the Israel Lobby and its stooges, ADL. Apparently, they have many stooges under their control to be sent to other sites to spread their prejudice against Muslims.

  4. E.R. Bills said on August 18th, 2010 at 11:26am #


    I suspect you have your reasons for being suspicious, but your distrust is unwarranted. I have no more quarrel with Muslims than I do with Christians. I don’t truck with the American brand of ignorance and cognitive dissonance that colors this issue. And, frankly, I often wonder how the folks who swallow such spin and distortion even remember to breathe. also, in the event they do remember to breathe, why so little oxygen reaches their brains. I will, however, cop to being a stooge–but I inhabit that capacity with no particular religious or political affiliations.

  5. teafoe2 said on August 18th, 2010 at 11:40am #

    Shabnam, Bills’ piece is a satire. Are you familiar with the expression “tongue in cheek”? Bills is using a traditional English-language literary device to mock the hasbrats behind the anti-Mosque campaign. He’s actually supporting your side in this, not your/our enemies.

    I admire how well you’ve learned to use English as a second language, “ESL”, but sometimes IMHO you seem to miss the point, to take things too literally.

    BTW thanks for the capsule history of the Iranian Marxist parties you posted the other day. You really have a lot of historical knowledge. Impressive.

  6. shabnam said on August 18th, 2010 at 12:13pm #


    This piece in my view can be very misleading and it is not a satire. Iran and Muslims are under attacks and are killed in large number every day. The hatred of Muslim in America and Europe has gone to the roof due to zionist propaganda and their stooges. What kind of piece is this?

    The same author, a few months ago, spreading lies of the major western media and giving us the same reason on ‘Somali’s Pirates’ as they did. Politically aware people must be very careful about what they are saying.

    Chomsky who thinks is supporting Iranian people, told the audience:

    That was the headline of all major news outlet day after. This statement is very good propaganda to be used by the zionist against Iran.

    Thanks for your interest in the Iranian Marxist history.

  7. teafoe2 said on August 18th, 2010 at 12:46pm #

    Shabnam, several times in the past I have criticized stuff posted by E R Bills. So I’m prepared to be suspicious of where he’s coming from. In fact I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t find anything to object to in this actually hilarious spoof.

    I urge you to reconsider your opinion. In my opinion Bills’ sense of humor seems to have been too subtle for you. I assure you that his intent will not be misunderstood by Zionists as support for their idiocy.

    Best wishes,

  8. E.R. Bills said on August 18th, 2010 at 1:27pm #


    addressing you directly, you need to re-read the piece on somali piracy. I sympathized with the somali pirates!? frankly, I’m no fan of the government of Iran, but I have nothing against it’s citizens. and I’ve several times stated before that I don’t care for the nation of israel and how it conducts itself. in fact, I’ve questioned the rationale behind israel’s very existence. on the other hand, threatening dutch cartoonists for cartoon depictions of mohammad was silly and assassinating theo van gogh was a shameful disgrace.

    there are anti-muslim factions factions out there but I hardly participate in or comprise one. as RATM says, know yer enemy.

  9. shabnam said on August 18th, 2010 at 2:14pm #

    E.R. Bills:

    Thank you for your note. But you should not be surprised to see few people who think this piece may have hidden agenda, especially people from the targeted countries. I am familiar with Persian satire which is very important in our culture, but, I guess, I don’t get your satire very well. Persian satire has been written about the bleak period of Qajar dynasty, that I have read which is very funny as well as sad, but your piece is not funny at all to me. Persian literature contains treasure in Romances, and political satire, very important in our culture and world literature.
    We are fed with a lot of propaganda of all types every day; thus, we as the people from the targeted countries view the written pieces from different angles. I apologize if I have reacted more passionately than is necessary, but you must understand our position since we are targeted by the campaign of lies and deception which brings hatred.

    I do not support the assassination of theo van gogh. However, van gogh assassination, without pointing out to the root causes of it, was publicized in all Western media and became a household item to demonize Muslims in Netherlands and elsewhere. However, at the same time Iranian scientists are assassinated by the Western agents, perhaps Iranian fifth column, in Iran to frame the government, yet has not been reported by the western outlet except one or two, like The Western invaders are killing many Muslims on the daily basis, including children but no one talk about them and no one cares what is happening to millions of people in the targeted countries, but due to Western propaganda you still remember van gogh but not 30 Afghani family members and their children who were killed by bombs, paid by your tax money. Now, the campaign is hyped against Iran to bring the same destruction to nation of Iran similar to Iraq.

  10. teafoe2 said on August 18th, 2010 at 5:43pm #

    who is RATM? I thought that quote was from Sun Tzu…?

  11. shabnam said on August 18th, 2010 at 5:54pm #

    who is RATM?

    I think is a song: Rage Against the Machine. Perhaps he means that. Am I right?

  12. AaronG said on August 18th, 2010 at 9:16pm #

    I’ll join you in this protest Mr Bills! I’ve burnt my school algebra books in case the poisonous material corrupts me. For now on, I’m gonna use trial and error to determine complex polynomial equations. They should have a 40,000km radius Muslim exclusion zone around the sacred site of Ground Zero…………forever!

    I can just imagine how much crap will go on next year in the media with the 10 year anniversary etc etc.

    Question: Is the CIA/Mossad/US Government allowed to build anything on the same block (or 2 blocks away) as the ex-Twin Towers?

  13. AaronG said on August 18th, 2010 at 9:31pm #


    RATM is the internationally recognised acronym for Rage Against The Machine and “Know Your Enemy” is one of their songs.

  14. hayate said on August 18th, 2010 at 10:31pm #

    RATM “Know Your Enemy”

  15. BartFargo said on August 19th, 2010 at 9:09am #

    Ground Zero can’t even be referred to as Ground “Zero” without referencing Muslim-European cultural contact as the concept of zero as a number (as opposed to a mere placeholder) was unknown to Western civilization until the introduction of the Hindu-Arabic numerical system in the 11th century.

  16. kalidas said on August 19th, 2010 at 11:42am #

    Did you hear the joke about the Shulba Sutras?

    Baudhayana and Pythagoras walk into a bar…

  17. hayate said on August 19th, 2010 at 8:53pm #

    BartFargo said on August 19th, 2010 at 9:09am

    Numeric systems aside, ground zero refers specifically in modern terms to the centre of a nuclear explosion. Calling the wtc ground zero is a propaganda effort to equate the attack with a nuclear detonation. A completely dishonest enterprise by the ziofascists who instigated/created the attack so they could profit from it.

    (This post is not intended as an attack on you, BTW)

  18. teafoe2 said on August 19th, 2010 at 9:10pm #

    come on, Kalidas, don’t keep us in suspense: then what?

  19. kalidas said on August 20th, 2010 at 5:53am #

    I’ll plead the 5th on that one. Those pagan jokes have a way of getting one into trouble.
    That said, I’m pretty sure there’s a pi involved…