The No-News No-Column Column

I don’t have a column this week.

You see, I analyze and interpret the news, trying to find something that others haven’t touched. When there’s lots of news, I have a playground of riches. But during the past week, there were only two stories, and every reporter, columnist, commentator, pundit, bloviator, and blogger weighed in on it. There was nothing more I could add—from any perspective.

There was the Tiger Woods story. It led off the TV newscasts and took page 1 newsprint for a couple of days, and then became a featured story the rest of the week. One day, the breaking news about Tiger was that he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

But, there was also the story of the gate crashers at the White House state dinner. Everyone covered that story. When the pundits finished blaming the Secret Service, they started on the White House staff, somehow making it seem that President Obama himself was guilty of allowing homeland security to deteriorate. Congress, always eager to take the spotlight away from Hollywood celebrities, launched an investigation. Overlooked was that although the gate crashers did get into the State Dinner, they had gone through several security checks, and the only hazard to the President was that he would have to be in the same publicity shot as a bleached blonde.

Now, some may say that the addition of 30,000 troops in Afghanistan is news. They may even claim that a recent report that concluded the Bush-Cheney administration failed to provide requested ground troops to capture a boxed-up bin Laden at the end of 2001 is news. They may claim that neglecting Afghanistan while throwing 170,000 troops into Iraq forced President Obama to beef up the forces in Afghanistan to finish the mission that was supposed to have been finished years ago. But, that’s not news. It’s not even worth commenting upon, especially when all the media resources were devoted to the Tiger Slam and the Tareq and Michaele Salahi invasion.

And that leaves me nothing to say this week. Maybe next week there may be news that 10,000 reporters, columnists, commentators, pundits, bloviators, and bloggers won’t give saturation coverage to. I sure hope so. I need the work.

Walter Brasch, during a 40-year work career in mass communications, has been a member of several unions, in both the private and public sectors. He is a syndicated newspaper columnist and the author of 16 books, including With Just Cause: Unionization of the American Journalist, Before the First Snow: Stories from the Revolution, and his latest Fracking Pennsylvania. He can be contacted at: Read other articles by Walter, or visit Walter's website.

7 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Anonymous said on December 9th, 2009 at 10:35am #

    I guess Climategate and the Hopenhagen hoax isn’t news for you either.

  2. bozh said on December 9th, 2009 at 10:36am #

    Walter, how ab copengaggen? The greatest fascist assembly ever? That leaves no pakt, treaty, agreement unbroken. And who exclusively write ‘laws’?
    Live in countries and empires functioning under the very ‘laws’ they invent?

    Well, i write in my house and garden [or have hidden and embedded in my brain] laws. In applying and [re]interpreting my laws, i had not ever been wrong and i cannot ever be wrong.
    I can, just like a prez, make a mistake, tho. But i cannot ever do any wrong even if i hang my neighbor’s dog by the toes- in my yard, tho! tnx

  3. Leslie Ann Jones said on December 9th, 2009 at 12:45pm #

    Wow….you mean to tell me tabloid style journalism and closely following the private disasters in the lives of celebrities won’t yield world peace and a better world?
    You don’t think yammering about it incessently is a good mental exercise?

    I find that hard to believe.

  4. Leslie Ann Jones said on December 9th, 2009 at 1:01pm #

    I personally want every non-crisis Obama faces to be covered instead
    of all his broken promises because after all the hype I’m sure the Second Coming is going to tumble from his rectum any day!
    Can’t miss that…

  5. bozh said on December 9th, 2009 at 2:13pm #

    All ‘promises’ made by clergy and pols are prebroken; i.e. at the time of invention; dating back at least 10k yrs ago!

  6. Danny Ray said on December 9th, 2009 at 6:14pm #

    Ms. Jones I thought he was the second coming.

  7. Don Hawkins said on December 9th, 2009 at 6:47pm #

    Breaking new’s

    But the fool on the hill,
    Sees the sun going down,
    And the eyes in his head,
    See the world spinning ’round.