Point of view – woman

I’m breathing in
Wondering how this is a win
As though our friends, neighbors, family didn’t vote to say ‘fuck it’ to equality
More than half chose money over rights
Am I the only one that felt heavy that night?
we’re told the right’s not taken away,
Just left to the states
It’s not a right if it can be changed
From ‘You can’ to ‘You may’
The lack of understanding is surreal
This belief it’s no big deal
Defending a man who sexually assaults
Reinforcing it’s her fault
I genuinely tried to understand
Why anyone chose him over a woman
A girl’s body is worth less than
An iron dome to lock her in
Hysterically I laughed
And with one thought I shattered
Every moment of my life has told me I didn’t matter
I laughed until I cried
Tears streaming
Silently screaming
Gasping for breath
And I reached within the depths
3 years old, don’t sit on his lap she was told
5 years old
don’t smile or say hi
to a man walking by
Normalizing assault by giving advice

It’s not men’s fault, they’re just living their life
If a man walks towards you, cross the street
If a man speaks to you, scream
If a man sits next to you, switch seats
Deja vu
14 years old and I’m with friends swimming
Two boys held her down, touched her despite the screaming
They didn’t care what no meant
Only to be told by another
‘What the fuck did you think was going to happen?!’
By my own mother
18 years old College, new beginning again
just standing in a hall
She was pushed against the wall
6 Hands on my body
She didn’t know the men
No sorry
No acknowledgment
The response when I told?
19 years old watching tv with a friend
I lost a piece of my self that i’ll search for until my end
What was my identity
When he became a part of me
His actions, no regard
taking my choice
My voice
My body,
Me
Fundamentally shaken
I told one friend
‘You shouldn’t have been alone with him’
what’s the point of speaking up again?
And on this current day
Why do I feel this way?
Like I’m back in that room
Chanting it’ll be over soon
Or back at that creek
A reminder that I’m weak
Back in that hall
No more than a body to be used for all
Every vote for him
It tells me that I am less than
Less than the price of eggs
Nothing more than my sex
Less than…
irrevocably changed
And I cannot see us the same

What is a woman at the base of the word?
Other than belonging to a man..men..a male
Woman… women… female
How do I… even… identify?

Kelly Benefield is a lover of words and how they can be used as mirrors into other worlds or portraits of the inner self across cultures, religions, and adverse experiences. Kelly has worked over 10 years in the child welfare system as a social worker and has a bachelor’s degree in Criminology. She can be reached at kellymariepoetry@gmail.com. Read other articles by Kelly Marie.