A Confederate soldier, a Red Army soldier,
A Taliban cleric and a liberal walked into a
Bar on Mott Street, where the Archangel
Gabriel was tending bar, making a piña colada;
Holding up his hand in greeting, the Archangel
Spake: “Thine eyes tell you that five fingers are
Forthwith displayed; if The New York Times said
That there were, in fact, four, how many fingers
Would I hold in my hand, five or four?” The
Confederate soldier, the Red Army soldier, and
The Taliban cleric immediately answered “Five,”
But the liberal would not, thereby slaying the
Lamb, and thusly uttered “Four;” and that was
How the faux-leftist came to disavow objective
Truth, kneeling before the demon of idolatry,
And banishing forever the blood-red dawning.