I’d Rather Have an Abortion Any Day Than Raise a Baby in Oklahoma

So I’m a teenage girl in Oklahoma and my halfass, Bocephus boyfriend gets me pregnant. It was an accident, and I should have thought twice about letting that fool make a fool of me, telling me he had a condom or that he would withdraw before he came, but it’s too late now. I’m preggers.

My mom and dad say I can move a trailer in next to theirs whether Bocephus marries me or not. They’ll help in any way they can. But I don’t want to marry that idiot. I half think he got me pregnant on purpose. And I definitely don’t know if I’m ready or mature enough to bear or raise a child. I need to finish school. I probably should try to go to college.

I decide to get an abortion, but the state’s new abortion laws treat me like a criminal. The Bocephuses in the Oklahoma state legislature have decided that if I want to terminate my pregnancy, I have to see an ultrasound and listen to a doctor tell me about my fetus’s heart and lungs and limbs. It doesn’t matter whether or not trusting a Bocephus got me into this mess. And if wouldn’t matter if he raped me or was my own brother. I have watch this video and they get to treat me like a criminal.

I’ve thought about it a lot and I think I’ve got my head around it. I think I’ll go through with the abortion and then leave this crappy state, but first I have some questions.

How come Bocephus isn’t being punished for lying to me? And how come he isn’t required by law to sit and watch the ultrasound? He’s the one who was in such a God-awful hurry. And he probably thinks he’s got me right where he wants me. That scarlet letter from that book in English is still only for women. It just stands for a different word.

The Bocephuses in the state legislature may think there needs to be a law like this to make girls like me think twice before getting an abortion, but they’re wrong. I get it. Pro-lifers want a woman to think about what she’s doing, preventing a life or ending a life. They want me to feel a cramp of conscience, but they’re wasting their time. I already do. And I already know that what I’m going to do makes me kind of like a monster in their eyes. But I ain’t the only one.

Before a doctor or pro-lifer decides what I should or shouldn’t do with my body, shouldn’t he or she have to watch a video of an illegal, back-woods abortion? And before the Bocephuses in the state legislature decide I have to watch film of the fetus that’s just barely inside me, shouldn’t they have to watch a video detailing the death and infertility rates caused by black-market abortions?

And if a young, struggling, three-quarters educated girl like me has to be held to some kind of higher standard, why shouldn’t everybody be held to a higher standard?

Why don’t the Bocephuses post pictures of seagulls covered in oil at every gas pump so you can see what you’re doin’ every time you buy gas? Why don’t the Bocephuses put pictures of the Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch at the grocery checkout stands so you can see what you’re contributing to every time you carry out your Pringles and Jif in plastic bags?

Do the military people who operate the Predator drones have to see pictures of bloody and maimed Afghan babies before they launch fresh attacks? Why didn’t the American people get the chance to watch young Muslim men being waterboarded over and over before the Bocephuses at Fox News told them it wasn’t torture?

And as we listen to coal industry bosses trying to convince us how safe coal power is, how come nobody shows actual video or pictures of black lung disease? How come smokers don’t have to watch video of what smoking does to their lungs? How come drinkers don’t have to watch video of what drinking does to their livers.

Here in America, we’re all killing or dying in one way or another and it’s our God-given right. But when foolish, unwed Sooner girls try to make decisions concerning their own bodies, that’s a sin. I’d rather have an abortion any day than raise a baby in Oklahoma.

Fort Worth native E. R. Bills is the author of Texas Obscurities: Stories of the Peculiar, Exceptional & Nefarious and Tell-Tale Texas: Investigations in Infamous History. Read other articles by E.R..

24 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. khsarosd said on May 12th, 2010 at 8:21am #

    You make such incredibly cogent points in a most readable way. That didn’t come out quite as smart-sounding as I hear it in my head, but I hope you know how much I admire your work.

    I think I’m going to start a subversive campaign to tape pictures of oil-covered birds and animals on the pump every time I get gas. God, that’s brilliant. I’ll feel so much better about myself instead of wringing my hands, wondering what can I do. Thanks, E.

  2. Don Hawkins said on May 12th, 2010 at 10:39am #


    Picture number 52 khsarosd. ER well put.

  3. Don Hawkins said on May 12th, 2010 at 11:27am #


    Another picture and in not to many years the pictures will not just be Dolphins and birds.

  4. hayate said on May 12th, 2010 at 1:06pm #

    “The Bocephuses in the Oklahoma state legislature”

    Should have been aborted. Their folks have a lot of explaining to do about why they were so irresponsible about springing such criminal rubbish on the state of oklahoma.

  5. lichen said on May 12th, 2010 at 4:43pm #

    It is ridiculous and hateful the way men are lambasted in this article. It is just as likely that she lied about having taken birth control, intentionally decided to get pregnant, or otherwise and now the law will allow her to impose economic sanctions on her partner for the next 18+ years because she is given total control over whether to have the child.

    Clearly, abortions should be free and available to anyone who wants them, but the state should subsidize all single parents, not engage in a hateful attack against men and given women the choice to ruin their entire lives. The inability of the women’s movement to a) respect any other argument for abortion other than their ideological one and b) challenge the governments disinvestment in parenting in favor of labeling the other sex “stupid” “deabeats” etc is really sick.

  6. E.R. Bills said on May 12th, 2010 at 6:26pm #

    the “she” is imaginary, Lichen. I’m male and I’m empathizing. are you familiar with the term empathy?

    I put myself in the shoes of a young woman. impregnation has been utilized as a means to control women since the beginning. and I’ll bet you most of the “bocephuses” behind this law are male.

    I am not sick. the oklahoma state legislature is sick. and many young women like the one I imagined are going to suffer because of their sick lack of empathy.

  7. Deadbeat said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:06pm #

    I’ll bet you most of the “bocephuses” behind this law are male.

    This is true but should ALL males be stereotyped? I think you are correct to say the following … the Oklahoma state legislature is sick They are sick with POWER. And they use that power to advance their CLASS INTERESTS.

    I agree with lichen’s general sentiments. The system is rigged against ALL working class men and women and the intent of the “woman’s” movement was NEVER a socialist one but a LIBERAL one to promote a Capitalism for upper class women which clearly obviously benefited the already wealthy and well-connected among them.

  8. lichen said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:12pm #

    Yes, E.R, you attack young males by putting yourself into the shoes of a highly prejudiced, self-absorbed young woman who blames reproduction solely on the opposite sex. Your statements are sick; the fact that you are unable to sympathize with children and men in as a reason for promoting abortion rights but instead desire the right for one parent to selfishly keep a child without the other’s consent and then blackmail them for child support is sick. Too bad you can’t empathize with young men, who are not a part of the unisex right wing legislators putting forth the bill in question.

  9. E.R. Bills said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:15pm #

    please confine your comments to the text. I didn’t stereotype all men. I stereotyped Sooner hicks who happen to be ranked fourth in the nation in their propensity for domestic violence. the state legislature’s enactment of these new statutes regarding abortion are no accident. they’re a product of the local culture. which is–tulsa notwithstanding–generally hickish, sexist and characteristic of bocephus-ness. this situation in oklahoma is no more a surprise than what’s happening in arizona. if yer community is backwards your laws are backwards.

  10. E.R. Bills said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:18pm #

    deadbeat and lichen:

    the law is sexist! the law puts young women on the hook but doesn’t affect their fecundators whatsoever. are you guys members of the oklahoma legislature?

  11. lichen said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:29pm #

    Deadbeat is right about the inherent elitist-capitalist nature of that movement; while many elite women enjoy their untaxed wealth, they insist on making policies that indenture poor minimum wage working men into homelessness to pay for choices they have no say in. Perhaps E.R. will empathize with a white power activist in his next essay, taking on all the stereotypical assumptions and prejudices those people might have as his own.

  12. lichen said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:31pm #

    And of course, ER, it isn’t enough for me to say I support abortion rights, I must also parrot your vocabulary, language, and ideology 100% otherwise I’m with the OK legislators?

  13. Gary S. Corseri said on May 12th, 2010 at 7:49pm #

    E.R. Bills–You’ve got me seeing “Bocephuses” everywhere–even among D.V.’s generally more sapient readership!

    A splendid bit of writing, tackling that “tar baby” subject! You pulled it off–and you made it sing!


  14. hayate said on May 12th, 2010 at 9:01pm #

    I’ve known guys who lied to the lady friends about birth control – “I had a vasectomy…” And I’ve also known women (young and not so young) who tricked or pressured their guys so they could get pregnant. A woman I used to date years ago, teacher and actual chauvinistic feminist, in fact (the male teachers she worked with referred to her as a ball-buster 😀 ), told me that many teenage girls try to get pregnant. For many reasons, some psychological, which I wont get into here. There’s different sides to this issue.

    But the important thing is that abortion be an option to these people so they do have the option to get out of these vicious circles they put themselves into, or others do. For whatever reason.

    As I wrote before, that oklahoma legislature should have been aborted – and there is absolutely no reason not to do it retroactively now. A mistake is a mistake. The usa could use a good dose of French Revolution these days.

  15. John Andrews said on May 12th, 2010 at 11:21pm #

    Of course you should be made to change your mind about having your foetus aborted! You stupid girl. It’s for your own good. It’s for the sake of your unborn baby. IT’S FOR YOUR COUNTRY GODDAMMIT!

    How else can we guarantee a permanent supply of slaves, or a growing market of gullible suckers to buy all the needless overpriced crap we produce 24/7?

  16. JE said on May 12th, 2010 at 11:40pm #

    In the strange and deluded realm of anti-fetus neo-feminism it’s always the male’s fault for getting some equally dumb bitch “preggers” isn’t it?

    Population control in a country of 300 million that’s third in size to Russia and China. That makes sense…the promiscuity the corporate media is promoting has sent STI rates through the fucking roof, sterilizing a lot of women who later will want these babies but fuck them…I guess sexual freedom ain’t free.

    Feminists never mention shit like that because while they are really up on cultural studies and other such nonsense…they aren’t very well versed in pathology or embryology for that matter.

  17. Deadbeat said on May 13th, 2010 at 4:16am #

    E.R. Bills writes …

    the law is sexist! the law puts young women on the hook but doesn’t affect their fecundators whatsoever. are you guys members of the oklahoma legislature?

    The law is also CLASSIST. Look E.R. my response (and I’m not speaking for anyone else) is to your WEAK analysis. IMO you are NARROW and STEREOTYPICAL in your analysis complaining only about sexism and not taking into account CLASS (and perhaps race as well). The main point is that a woman of MEANS has options regardless of the law. However as lichen points out the losers here are BOTH WORKING CLASS men and women.

    You clearly make the “feminist” case but you totally ignore the impact on working class men with regards to parential pecuninary which is mislabelled by the state as “child support”.

    My position on abortion is that once a man makes “the deposit” it’s the woman right to choose. But the REAL issue is the financial burden of child rearing in a Capitalist society. This burden has become a TOOL of EXPLOITION which is the real basis of so-called “family” law. Your analysis FAILS to consider that problem and the basis of your entire article falls prey to the divide-and-conquer setup by the ruling class.

    This is suppose to be a venue for DISSIDENTS not lousy analysis that lend tacit support to the ruling class.

  18. Don Hawkins said on May 13th, 2010 at 6:38am #

    “The minority, the ruling class at present, has the schools and press, usually the Church as well, under its thumb. This enables it to organize and sway the emotions of the masses, and make its tool of them.”
    Albert Einstein

    To see things

  19. bozh said on May 13th, 2010 at 6:39am #

    I have espied the fact we had been living in lawlessness. So even to call what ancient and modern warlords and masters of people scribbled dwn “laws” [am using the word in its folk sense] is a fallacy.
    Hey, folks, we’v had despotism-serfdom for at least 10 k yrs.

    So, the ‘laws’ are against girls, boys, dogs, turtles, snakes, forests, rivers, men, women. tnx

  20. bozh said on May 13th, 2010 at 6:43am #

    I read ur post after posting mine. We r saying that most or ?all politico-governmental ‘laws’ are fakes. Am i right?

  21. Don Hawkins said on May 13th, 2010 at 7:04am #

    100% correct with what we now know and how long have we known, good question.

  22. Don Hawkins said on May 13th, 2010 at 7:25am #

    An attention span of longer than 15 minutes can be very helpful when dealing with the greedy. Sorry the masters ok the shakers and movers the have and have more a lot more.

  23. E.R. Bills said on May 13th, 2010 at 8:20am #

    points taken deadbeat, but the analysis was quasi-posited through the lens of a young, 3/4 (if that)-educated woman upset about the patriarchal bent of this law. one might construe “her” view as “lousy” but I wasn’t trying to make it meet the level of diction and reason of the 3rd year philosophy student. I was trying to make it colloquial or realistically rustic, esp considering the hypothetical individual I envisioned her to be. yer right, of course, that this new law is classist, but I think it’s sexist first. I think we can all agree it’s inane… whether successful or unsuccessful, I was just trying to point out the inanity of it from someone else’s point of view.

  24. scott said on May 14th, 2010 at 5:52am #

    The biggest problem I have with ER’s article is that no Okie would say, “preggers.” That is a British saying, you’d think a liberal redneck from W. Ft. Worth would know that, BUT NO!!!!!