US Girl Scouts Defend the Homeland!

In a bold combination of good old American ingenuity and patriotism, the USA has launched a campaign that will both protect the Homeland and provide fodder for comedians around the world.

What is this ingenious program, you ask?

Enlisting the Girl Scouts to help fight terrorism!

Believe it or not, the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is organizing Girl Scouts throughout the USA to “combat hurricanes, pandemics, terror attacks and other disasters.”

This campaign is part of a government effort to make Americans better able to cope with natural and man-made disasters.

As DHS head Janet Napolitano explained, “As a former Girl Scout, I know the ‘Be Prepared’ motto well, and I look forward to working with the Girl Scouts to spread the preparedness message to all of our nation’s citizens.”

One longs for the good old days when the Girl Scouts were better known for hawking their overpriced but tasty cookies.

In conjunction with Girls Scouts USA, Homeland Security has even designed a new “preparedness badge” that girls can earn while defending the American Fatherland.

It will probably resemble some of current badges worn by Girls Scouts like in the picture below:


What patriotic American girl wouldn’t be proud to rock a kewl new Preparedness Patch?

The Preparedness Patch program itself was developed jointly by the Girls Scouts Council of Washington DC and FEMA (yes, the same FEMA that performed so admirably during Hurricane Katrina). The Council’s website describes some of the important skills that Girl Scouts are required to master like being able to:

  • Identify local risks and potential emergencies
  • Connect with local community service agencies
  • Understand hazards and appropriate protective actions
  • Learn local alerts and warning systems
  • Prepare themselves and their family
  • Deal with emotional responses to an emergency
  • Discover how to get trained and become involved in community emergency planning
  • Explore additional resources

There is no mention if other requirements for earning this Preparedness Badge include spying on antiwar protestors or providing FEMA-style rescue and relief “help” for hurricane survivors.

As documented on the DHS and Girl Scouts USA websites, this is part of a greater institutional alliance between the US Government’s Citizen Corps program and the Girl Scouts “to advance community preparedness nationwide.” Indeed, there is even a formal statement of affiliation between Homeland Security and Girl Scouts USA.

Ultimately, you have to ask what is the significance of this development and what is it really about?

Why would the Department of Homeland Security be working with the Girl Scouts USA in the first place?

Isn’t the very idea of this collaboration strange? It would be analogous to the Central Intelligence Agency establishing a program with the Cub Scouts!

As I see it, this partnership between Homeland Security and the Girl Scouts is reflective of the broader militarization of American society.

This militarization is often couched behind the idea of national service, which involves not only things like Americorps or Teach for America but also the possible mobilization of the populace for war crises.

There have even been suggestions that the recent Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act (or GIVE Act) is a step towards instituting a mandatory national service requirement with decidedly militaristic overtones:

The GIVE Act views military-style regimentation as a model for the nation. Its National Civil Community Corps would seek to “combine the best practices of civilian service with the best aspects of military service.” This reminds some critics of Obama’s declaration last July: “We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that is just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded as the military.”

This is the larger political context from which the Girl Scout Preparedness program emerges.

As one blogger put it, “It’s nice to know that the United States now has its own version of Hitler’s League of German Girls program.”

All we need now is an Obama Youth Brigade.

17 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. David said on October 14th, 2009 at 9:17am #

    I understand there’s a Dick Cheney patch for ratting on parents who subscribe to questionable blogs.

  2. missvi said on October 14th, 2009 at 9:27am #


  3. Danny Ray said on October 14th, 2009 at 10:03am #

    OK, I give up, what exactly do you find so offensive about teaching young people to be alert to emergencies, to help people in need, to respond to crises, and in short just be prepared.

    Are you people so cynical that you see no need for the average person to respond to help their neighbors in emergency, nowhere does it say that they’ll put these little girls on duty to guard bridges and overpasses. It does say that they will help the government assist people in time of need.

    During the goat rope formally known as Katrina, boy and girl scouts passed out rations, ice, and assisted people to find places to sleep. They also help clean the camps up and did a thousand and one chores to make everyone’s life better.

    Maybe a few people here were not so smug about their self righteous superiority they might realize that to extend a helping hand to your country or a person in need might be a good thing.

  4. Dick Sneed said on October 14th, 2009 at 10:51am #

    To Danny Ray,
    1. It’s not the job of nor is it appropriate for a government agency to be soliciting organized children’s groups. I’m quite sure the Scouts (Cub, Boy and Girl) all have programs to teach them how to help others. They don’t need the DHS or FEMA
    2. As far as Katrina goes, Girl and Boy scouts have absolutely no business assisting people to find places to sleep or picking up afther those that are too lazy to pick up after themselves. Additionally, the people that you claim were helped by the scouts that did thousands of chores to make their life better probably didn’t lift a finger to help themselves therefore they don’t deserve any help in the first place. I don’t say this lightly, since I witnessed several places where hundreds of so called refugees were housed for several weeks and they did nothing but stand / sit around while good Samaritans around them picked up their trash. They were happy to eat all the good food brought to them and showed their gratitude by throwing the trash all over the ground instead of in the cans provided. Extending a helping hand to those that need it is one thing but being preyed upon by bureaucrats, vagabonds and thugs is quite different. DHS is a nothing more than a bureaucratic wasteland of thugs and leeches. And, a large number of those so-called victims of Katrina were victims of their own sloth.

  5. john kincaid said on October 14th, 2009 at 11:03am #

    blatant paranoia

    The correct approach is to observe what really happens, gather references and then report.

    FEMA should be doing this but could lack the competence.

    That this comes from a slightly more competent agency that is also paranoid does not necessarily mean it is evil. Evil by association – yes. Evil in practice – wait and see.

    Agreements in the blogosphere not backed up by anything other than opinion are not fact.

  6. Danny Ray said on October 14th, 2009 at 12:41pm #

    As to whether government agencies should solicit help from children’s groups, I ask why not? Those children (keeping in mind some of them are older than fourteen or fifteen up to eighteen.) are Americans also. We all owe a debt to this nation for what we have and we should all be ready to step up to the plate and help other Americans when needed.

    Trust me, my friend I have no love, respect or sympathy for any one in New Orleans. I spent five weeks waiting around in slimy polluted water looking for bodies of people who were too stupid to leave when they had a chance and when rescued wanted to blame everybody else for their predicament. I do have an immense amount of respect for the kids and the volunteers who came to help sort that horrible stinking mess out. And I need to say that there were more church groups that left wing groups working there. And yes I agree with you as far as I could see all the civilian volunteers were treated like crap by both the “victims” and that worthless state and local government. You can not imagine how good it was after hours of walking around in that cesspool of the lower ninth ward to be able to get cold sandwich and a hot cup of coffee when you need one.

    Most of the people on this web site say we should just sit down and let the government take care of us. What these people need to understand is “we are the government” and that any solution to any problem whether it is insurance, war, peace, equality, or any other thought has to come from us all working together. No one is just going to hand you a good life.

  7. johnnie said on October 14th, 2009 at 3:05pm #

    i surely understand the skepticism and cynicism of the critics of this idea but in principle i think the concept is sound. i think we would all benefit in the long run if children realized that life is not always a bowl of cherries and some forethought and preparedness is a good thing. young girls would do well to know there are positive qualities that matter more than an interest in pop matters and fluff. i too though wonder about the advisedness of government involvement in any sort of youth movement.

  8. Larry Yu said on October 15th, 2009 at 4:37pm #

    I think some people here are missing the point.

    The entire premise of the Homeland Security/Girl Scouts’ Preparedness program is nonsense.

    Will the Girl Scouts now be tasked to spy on possible neighborhood “Al-Queda” sleeper cells and report them to DHS ?

    Or will they be distributing mint cookies with FEMA during its next natural disaster fiasco?

    Like America’s War on Terror in general, preparedness is a pretext issue (i.e. lie) to advance other political agendas unrelated to the putative rationale.

    In brief, this program reflects the militarization of American society in general, whereby the US government attempts to mobilize grassroots populist support to “defend the fatherland” from supposed threats–both man-made or natural.

    Barack Obama’s comment above about a US “civilian national security force” suggests as much, and it should give people pause.

  9. lichen said on October 15th, 2009 at 6:30pm #

    Scout’s programs are exploitative in themselves, seeking to force young children into the confines of a disgusting, bankrupt morality. Volunteer positions should, as always, be separated into living wage government jobs and laws.

  10. lichen said on October 15th, 2009 at 6:30pm #

    Scout’s programs are exploitative in themselves, seeking to force young children into the confines of a disgusting, bankrupt morality. Volunteerism should, as always, be separated into living wage government jobs and laws.

  11. Obstreperous said on October 15th, 2009 at 7:50pm #

    Wow. What a bizarre bunch of responses to simple emergency preparedness training that only serve to build confidence and resourcefulness in our youth. Maybe having one’s daughter coming home and asking us “Where our earthquake supplies are and what is our family contact plan?” is not so diabolical.
    I know people are getting more paranoid with all of the current administrations threats to privacy and self determination, but I don’t think this counts among the things we need to worry about.
    Spying…c’mon, give be a break. You can’t be serious.

  12. Danny Ray said on October 16th, 2009 at 12:14pm #

    The Girl Scout pledge:
    I will do my best to be:
    Honest and fair, Friendly and helpful, Considerate and caring,
    Courageous and strong, and Responsible for what I say and do,
    And to respect myself and others, Respect authority,
    Use resources wisely, Make the world a better place, and
    Be a sister to every Girl Scout.

    OH MY GOD lichen you are right of course we must do everything we can to stampout such disgusting moral bankrupcy.

    And as for volunteering being made a well paying federal job, W.T.F. Little Sister. You are the one here every day saying how we need to unite and work together, But now you say that we should not help anyone if we do not get a check?????

  13. lichen said on October 16th, 2009 at 3:02pm #

    Yes, danny, it is moralistic, pathetic bankruptcy. As always, I say: adults first. Live up to your own morals before mistreating children and then expecting them to be noble. I’d prefer they fucked you up, burned down the opressive schools, and rejected the disgusting narrative of right wing adults like you.

  14. Danny Ray said on October 16th, 2009 at 3:27pm #

    WOW, I sit here astonished, how do I answer that?

  15. lichen said on October 16th, 2009 at 3:32pm #

    WOW you’re on a far-left website, and some of us believe in children’s rights, and that children aren’t tools for the hypocritical, disgusting morality of adults. But since you don’t know how to answer, maybe you should stop trolling this site, and leave.

  16. Danny Ray said on October 17th, 2009 at 8:15am #

    So your perfect civilization is depicted in The Lord of the Flies.?

  17. Danny Ray said on October 17th, 2009 at 6:12pm #

    Damn, you caught us, Marlin Guzsman, Ray Nagin and kathleen Blanko are all republican operatives, just try not to tell to many people. As for as those republican deputies I worked with a lot of them and it was about a 50/50 mix. The NOPD is just slightly less democratic as any other communist party organization I have met in a while. You must not have been there. It sounds like you got your facts off air america.