Don’t mind her,
she’s busy at work
destroying a dozen or so
smartphones with a hammer.
I can assure you
that this is perfectly reasonable behavior,
and is not at all the type of activity
usually reserved
for mafia kingpins
and their hardened criminal minions.
Don’t mind her,
she’s in the backroom
acid-washing
thirty-thousand emails
that the FBI requested
for an investigation.
Please spare me your shock,
and stop pretending
as if this isn’t part
of proper protocol and procedure.
Ho-hum, just another day
at the office.
Nothing to see here,
conspiracy theorist, now move along.
Don’t mind her,
she fell down
and bumped her poor little head,
so it’s really no surprise
that she couldn’t recall
whether or not
she was ever briefed
during her stint
as Secretary of State
on how to handle
important classified documents.
She really couldn’t help it
if she didn’t understand
that the big “C”
at the top of those pages
meant the information
was confidential.
Thankfully, I can vouch 100%
in saying
that as soon as her meeting
with the FBI had concluded,
those 39 questions
that she couldn’t recall
the answers to
all came flooding back
into her incredibly healthy mind
as if it were a miracle,
and so she is
fit as a goddamned fiddle
to serve as Commander in Chief
as your next honest, brave,
upright, highly virtuous
President.