Mickey Z. to the “Rescue” in 2008?

by Mickey Z. / September 5th, 2007

We’re all gonna rock to the rules that I make/I wanna be elected.
— Alice Cooper, “Elected”

Every four years, we get Coke vs. Pepsi. McDonald’s vs. Burger King. MasterCard vs. Visa. Letterman vs. Leno. Let me put it another way: As long as the pilot has the controls, it matters not if you sit on the right side of the plane or the left side of the plane. So, the next time someone tells you America has a two-party system, I suggest you demand a
recount.

Like the bull in a bullfight, we voters chase the elusive red cape…distracted from the real targets through an attractive image or illusion. We offer no challenge to the status quo. Instead, we willingly contribute by assuming our predetermined role as a voter/consumer.
Ideologies are sold to the public like any other commodity. Media-hyped millionaires are neatly packaged and marketed with the same intensity and deception as a cell phone.

Once in office, we trust these men and women with our moral decisions and are satisfied with the illusion of having elected them, never comprehending the reality that if voting ever looked like it could change anything, it might be made illegal.

U-N-L-E-S-S…

What if everyone who stayed home in 2004 writes in my name in 2008? In 2004, there were 202,746,417 eligible voters, but only 122,293,332 hit the polling booths. More than 80 million more Americans could have voted while George W. Bush won with 62,040,610 votes.

Imagine if those 80 million came out in 2008 for, well, me. Imagine if even 20% of them voted for me-if for no other reason than to demonstrate that what they (we) want isn’t on the menu. Sixteen million protest votes? In America? The next thing you know, we’ll have an actual democracy.

This idea isn’t specifically about me winning (although there are enough non-voters out there to easily elect me). The time is long overdue for all of us to recognize that the primary difference between Republicans and Democrats is that they tell different lies to get elected. Voting for me can send a message that there’s more to life than Coke and Pepsi.

I propose the formation of a new party-The Rescue Party-with yours truly at the top of the ticket. For my running mate, I’ll ask Rosemarie “RMJ” Jackowski. (If you don’t recognize that name, try out that Google function on your Internet machine.) Consider us two bottles of filtered water standing firm against those sugary, chemical-laden soft drinks.

I’ll kick off my Rescue Party campaign with a presidential haiku:

you once seemed very
important but now you are
another four years

Campaign contributions can be made at www.mickeyz.net.

Mickey Z. is the creator of a podcast called Post-Woke. You can subscribe here. He is also the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on New York City streets. Spread the word. Read other articles by Mickey.

This article was posted on Wednesday, September 5th, 2007 at 5:00am and is filed under "Third" Party.

9 comments on this article so far ...

Comments RSS feed

  1. Lloyd Rowsey said on September 5th, 2007 at 5:15pm #

    I assume this is a joke. Still the logic and appeal of the position as expressed by Ron Jacobs here at DV a few days ago if I recall, 0f boycotting the major parties in the 2008 presidential election, is almost overwhelming. For a less unrealistic alternative than parody, I refer the interested to an article in today’s Black Agenda Report by Margaret Kimberley, titled “Freedom Report: Media “Disappear” Denis Kucinich.”

  2. rosemarie jackowski said on September 8th, 2007 at 6:07am #

    Lloyd…thanks for taking the time to comment. Mickey Z’s candidacy is NO joke. It is the dems and repubs that are the joke. Also, it is the voters who must accept the ultimate responsibility for those whom they elect to office. As has often been said – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. The voters continue to elect Democrats and Republicans and then seem to be surprised when things do not change.

  3. dave said on September 9th, 2007 at 8:54am #

    okay mick, i’ll vote 4 u, but i’ll need to know yr name

  4. Carl Z said on September 13th, 2007 at 9:00am #

    I’d support any collective effort to help Mickey Z find a job, just not this particular job.

  5. Bernie Berg said on September 27th, 2007 at 7:03am #

    I’ll vote for Mickey Z if Aunt Kate doesn’t run.

  6. Bernie Berg said on September 27th, 2007 at 7:04am #

    On the other hand, I might vote for Punch Burger (half German Shepherd and half Keeshound) if he is still available.

  7. vernica said on November 17th, 2007 at 2:43am #

    Ok. There is one more ( the only resultative) solution:
    out of 330 millions of Americans , let say, 280 millions DO NOT COME OUT TO VOTE at all!… That would the “the vote of consciousness”, would not it? Now imagine: all the “votings” go inside the Capital, between so-called “representatives of American people”. While the same American people are having a good time away from the booths and voting pools?
    NO VOTE, NO MORE! That’s “activism”! Will they arrest 2780 millions? Will they drop on The Homeland the bunker-bust bombs in order to dig them out and send them to Heavens? Mr. Z! What would they do, do you think, if 280 millions Americans won’t come out to vote?
    At the end of the Voting Day The System will collapse.
    Is not it what we want?

  8. Gary Prusakowski said on November 17th, 2007 at 1:57pm #

    I’d vote for him as he is a better choice than anyone else who has indicated their intentions, but I can’t. Luckily I don’t live in your country, not that mine is a whole lot better, but at least it isn’t Bush country.

    I think the best we can do is to do as little as possible to support the current fascist, capitalistic system.

    Maybe move to Venezuela. 🙂

  9. chris in berlin said on March 19th, 2008 at 11:56am #

    However clever your pilot metaphor maybe, and however dissatisfied we may be with the moderate positions of even the “liberal” Democrats, the contention that there is no difference between a Republican presidency and a Democratic presidency is idiotic and blind.

    Do you remember checks and balances?
    Do you know what the Supreme Court is?
    Have you been paying attention the last four years, or just reading other leftist blogs for hipsters instead of real newspapers?

    If you want America to move left, and you want to see less suffering and more justice, then get out there and do it yourself. Become a social worker, get a law degree, get a job teaching in Baltimore–whatever. Don’t cop out and say that not voting is going to change things, allowing you to be a revolutionary just for staying home.

    Now, if you want to help start correcting all the mistakes that the last eight years have caused, get off your soapbox and vote for the frigging Democratic candidate on Election Day.