“Before I give you the grand tour,” says Gus, “put down those silly suitcases. Right over there, okay? This’s gonna be your bedroom for the next couple of weeks. Or longer, if you want to stay longer.”
We look inside. On a king size bed there’s an old Nautilus strength machine. We step closer and see a treadmill too, also standing on the bed, behind the Nautilus.
Gus waves. “Not to worry, we’re gonna move the exercise equipment to somewhere before you go to bed this evening. I just haven’t yet figured out where to. Plenty of time left of the day, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“How about that room over there to the right? Only an idea…”
“That’s our bedroom, Sean,” says Gus. “Lisa tells me, nowhere in the whole world could she get such a perfect slumber as in our bed. It psychosomatic, if you ask me. The bed is her refuge from the constant turbulence in this upside-down universe. Lisa is very emotional.”
He opens the door. The room is filled with canned food, large plastic bags of rice, flour, potatoes. One item conspicuously absent is a bed.
“Gus, is this a joke? There’s no bed in the room. Doesn’t seem to be place for it either. From this angle, it resembles a pantry. A full pantry…”
“Yes, the bed,” says Gus. “Well, Sean, we moved Lisa’s bed out this morning.”
“And moved the grocery… from where?”
“Those used to be in your bedroom.”
“So… just out of curiosity, what do you keep in the pantry?”
“What pantry, Sean? Who’s got a pantry these days? Frankly I don’t remember seeing one in decades.”
Awaiting what next but Gus’s body language indicates we just had the grand tour. My wife sighs. The bad news, what was confusing earlier is completely clear now.
It doesn’t matter; ever since the state council notified us we had to clear out of our apartment, we’ve been yearning for a good-night sleep in a real bed.
Next step, I must convince someone to get their ass into exercising – both upper body and cardio – and haul the damn equipment out of the room. Also, we’d better score a couple of pillows and a blanket to achieve a degree of sleep normalcy.
The bed is obviously Lisa’s bed she shares with Gus. Odds are they’re going to sleep on potatoes the next couple of weeks. Hopefully her emotions won’t steer her in the wrong direction.