Are you looking to downsize your organization in the sloppiest possible way? Dismiss staff without severance pay? Devalue them and their work on their way out the door, making them feel miserable?
If so, Dejected Associates is ready to work with you. Our team of employees were emotionally abused by their fathers, bullied in childhood, and ready to take their anger out on your employees. We’ll use a chainsaw, not a scalpel, feeding their hopes for the future into our wood chipper. Best of all, we’ll do it en masse so they’ll all be competing for new jobs elsewhere at the same time.
But hurry. Avoid regret before a judge’s order rescinds this unusual opportunity to cut costs while boosting your self-esteem.
Here is my brief bio. Please do not post my e-mail address in it:
Nick Phosphorus writes poetry and fiction and has been published in a variety of literary magazines.
Thank you,
Nick Phosphorus