We, the jury, find the Dead White Male
426.83b, also known as Dylan Thomas,

Guilty in absentia of violating CDC guidelines,
Racism, sexism, misogyny, sexual harassment,

Toxic masculinity, sexual objectification, stalking
(Of the first degree), and cisgender transgender

Binomialism; as the accused has been proven
To repeatedly refer to his wife in letters issued

As evidence to this court as “my darling,” “my
Dear,” “my dear one,” “my own,” “my precious,”

“My Cat,” “my own own own dearest love,”
“My sweet wife,” “my wonderful wonderful girl,”

“My pet,” “faraway Caitlin my darling;” and even
Writing to Emily Holmes Coleman in the winter

Of 1936-1937, addressing her as “darling Emily
Dear,” “dear Emily darling,” and “Emily Emily

Dear Emily.” We hereby request that the accused’s
Heretical writings be surgically excised forthwith

So as to remove the malignancy and prevent
Contamination of our tolerant, polysexual, and

Polyamorous student body at this most esteemed,
Bigender, androphilic, and august center of learning.

David Penner has taught English and ESL within the City University of New York and at Fordham. His articles on politics and health care have appeared in CounterPunch, Dissident Voice, Dr. Linda and KevinMD; while his poetry has been published with Dissident Voice. Also a photographer, he is the author of three books: Faces of Manhattan Island, Faces of The New Economy, and Manhattan Pairs. He can be reached at: 321davidadam@gmail. Read other articles by David.