Dear Mr. President,
Please remain awake
and fully cognizant
during all meetings
pertaining to national security.
Please refrain
from checking your watch
every few minutes
the next time you’re being inconvenienced
by having to salute
the caskets of 13 dead soldiers
who were killed by your incompetence.
Please try your level best
not to arm another terrorist regime
with an 85 billion dollar arsenal.
Please never again
give your A-OK
to drone strikes
that murder innocent aid workers
and then celebrate as if
you’ve performed some heroic act.
Please hold your German Shepherd
on a tighter leash
so it doesn’t bite yet another secret service member.
Please keep
your filthy fascist needles
away from the flesh
protecting our free souls.
Please don’t take any future
million dollar bribes
from agents of foreign countries.
Please stop sniffing
the hair of little children
and flirting with them
like a creepy old codger.
Please tell your degenerate son
to stop laundering the sales
of his sloppy paintings
through shady art exhibits.
Please resign,
effective immediately.
