up, uP, UP!

“Hey man, well met, you’re a bleeding sight
for sore, bloodshot, debauched eyes.
Where’ve ya been hiding?
Jail? On the run? A woman?
Oh whatever, we live n’ learn, right.
What matters is that you’re back,
and you’ve brought that million £ smile with ya.
I was just stepping outta the Bookies,
collecting me winnings, yeah…
and I spies ya coming down the cobbles
with a half swagger,
half Trojan Moonstomp going on.
Right, 2 ticks, mate…
I’m a-bell a Dealer, The Guest List Geezer,
Madam Midnight for her Top Love-Suites
(Just in case we end up going the duration
and not ending up in the wrong type of cuffs)
… and a 6 Man Wrecking Crew, nah, scratch that,
let’s make it an 18 Man Demolition Firm.
Paint the town red? Are you kidding me,
we’re gonna ‘High Plains Drifter’ it, me old china.”

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.