Beware of Malware

Shadowy terrorists have seized control
of my computer keyboard and before
my horrified eyes they are sending forth
seditious messages which I truly abhor.

Try as I might, the machine will not stop
churning out insane rants on topics
about which I have little knowledge,
conjectures framed by twisted optics

or specious claims in support of despots
whose failure to terminate their regime
forces the prudent hegemon to dispatch
another right-wing destabilization team…

See! That last line was definitely not mine.
It was as if the keys had fingers of their own,
trying to sully my sterling reputation,
spreading slander only I can have known.

Naturally I tried shutting the thing down,
removing the battery and pulling the plug,
but it kept on spewing such vile notions
that finally I presumed a malicious bug.

I phoned microsoft but was put on hold.
I spoke with a cop using a fictitious name.
I installed a user-friendly version of Ubuntu.
No matter: the problem remained the same.

Which brings me to the present moment.
Forsaken and bereft of any further hope,
I pretend to write under my own volition
while smoking some really good dope.

Douglas Smith, formerly a teacher of Anthropology at York University, is a homeopathic physician.and author of several books on alternative medicine. It is claimed (although Dissident Voice has no proof of this!) that Doug and his partner grow the best garlic in Haliburton County. Read other articles by Douglas.