New Year 2016

after the
ball drops
and my
brain closes
down the
last neurons
with vodka
blue misery
and white
I woke
late to
the realization
that the
changes in
me that
scare my
mom and
sadden my
brother are
not gone
I have
not managed
again this
to turn
back into
what they
all expected
and found
easier to
so I
begin 2016
still working
my way
through the
ward of
that hospital
in the
bloody mouth
of that
war now
over for
five years
only the
faces will

there will
be new
recruits arriving
shot bleeding
and blown
to red
tonight and
every night
in my

Matthew Borczon recently retired from the United States Navy reserve after 20 years of service. He has published 17 books of poetry; the most recent PTSD a Living Will is available through Rust Belt Press. He is married with 4 children Read other articles by Matthew.