I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained …
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins;
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God;
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things;
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago.
–Walt Whitman
(to be sung to the tune of “Hello, Dolly”)
I said hello, Dalai,
This is G.C., Dalai,
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong.
In your sarong, Dalai,
Lookin’ swell, Dalai–
You’re still glowin’, you’re still crowin’
That old feudal song.
I hear the monks prayin’
And the horns playin’
One of your anti-commie songs from way back when.
So … pack the yak, fellas,
Forget about Iraq, fellas,
Dalai’ll never go away again.
I said, hello, Dalai,
Holy-gee, Dalai,
Gere’s so nice to have you back where you belong.
Your inner light, Dalai–
Outa sight, Dalai!–
Just be happy, don’t be sappy–
We’ll all sing along.
I hear Iran prayin’
And Petraeus playin’
One of those Oprah-tappin’ tunes from way back when.
So … golly-Jeez, Dems,
Kiss the old man’s knees, Dems,
Bush’ll never go away,
Dalai’ll never go away,
Celebs will never go away again.
Just one more set, Dalai,
“Free Tibet,” Dalai,
Get it back to where it was when you were Lord.
I mean your serfs, Dalai,
On your turfs, Dalai,
When you clapped hands they’d understand
That old feudal song.
I see prayer-wheels spinnin’
And the Pope’s grinnin’
And the Wretched of the Earth can take a hike … yikes!
Golly-gee, Gere,
Mia and Clooney–all hear–
We’re sick of all you sycophants
Kissin’ the ass of hierophants,
Take your ill-earned gilt and go away.
Well, one more show, Dalai,
I can’t go, Dalai,
Till you tell me where the cash went from the C.I.A..
Was it well-spent, Dalai?
Was it leant, Dalai
To cover sub-prime mortgages in the U.S.A.?
We’re hurtin’ bad, Dalai,
It’s so sad, Dalai,
Katrina took its toll and where were you … hey?
Free Tibet–sure,
Palestine and much more,
We’re never gonna go away
We’re never gonna go away
We’re never gonna go away
Again!