Make sure your boy has lost his father,
So can live with you and Prince Charming.
New siblings will make him feel odder,
And let him know he’s just a bother.
They’ll be royal but he’s no princeling.
Use your fame to make friends with the most
World famous sexual predator.
Your boy might well be happy to boast
Of this friendship, and do his upmost
To emulate that expeditor.
Your boy can then find his own pathway,
His redemptions, his validation—
Not as part of the family per se,
Entitled to the entire array
Of respect—but through emulation.
Finally, do not attend his trial.
The world must know he’s really not your
Child at all, but a boy filled with guile.
Lacking royal birth, he has no style.
Congenital common has no cure.
*****
Poet’s Note: Norwegian royals do not get as much attention as their English counterparts, at least not from the international press, a shame as they appear capable of generating equally exciting headlines. On a literary note, this crown princess might have learned useful lessons from the early chapters of Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.
See: “Woman testifies son of Norway’s crown princess raped her while she slept: ‘Worst nightmare’” CBS News, February 10, 2026.