‘Ello, ‘Ello, ‘Ello, What’s All This Then?

“… for Fuck Sake! I just want to be
in a loving, loyal, stable, committed,
lifelong… Relationship, ya know!”
I stated, shaking with emotion,
upwards into the face of the middle
of the three Police Officers
who were attending
the scene of this [New] INSANITY
… which I had just been birthed
out of a [Jim Beam] Blackout… into.
“You’ve got blood down your chin
… are you left or right handed?…
use your left hand to wipe it, slowly
… and then hold both of your arms
out away from your body
as we lift you up onto your feet…
deviate from these instructions
and we will BOUNCE you
all the fucking way to the Station!”
“… where is she? I’m worried…
we were smack/bang in the middle
of some serious ‘Trauma-Bonding’
… when the Devil intervened…”
“Your delicate little flower of a love
… was last seen running up the street
completely naked apart from ‘Soiling’
… with a carving knife in each hand,
inventing new [vile] swear words,
as she banshee-hurricaned along
… zigzagging the white lines…
like a demented fucking psychopath
… until getting picked-up
by someone on a black motorbike
halfway up the [noontime] main drag
… but, don’t fret yourself,
we’ll find the crazy bint, eventually.”

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.