There Will Be Riots, Mark My Words

(Providing Everyone Continues To Practice Social Distancing Whilst Doing It)

Apparently, there are now Prostitutes,
somewhere in Southampton,
offering the delightfully named
‘Close Proximity Knuckle-Shuffles’
… where they expose breasts,
reach over a latex-gloved hand,
all whilst tilting masked-face away.
I belly-laughed when I heard,
half-choking “Romance ain’t dead”
followed by “Now, that’s erotic!”
I was asked to leave the premises,
because of my selfish spluttering,
by two burly Doormen…
via ‘2 Metre Rule’ Ape-Menacing
rather than old-school physical contact
… where I responded appropriately.
I have yet to hear of a single case
of an ‘Anti-Lockdown Protester’
becoming ill because of this Virus.
The seriously worrying thing is
that last Spring they were hoarding
toilet rolls, sanitizer, and tinned food
… whilst this Season it is Weaponry.

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.