Apparently, there are now Prostitutes,
somewhere in Southampton,
offering the delightfully named
‘Close Proximity Knuckle-Shuffles’
… where they expose breasts,
reach over a latex-gloved hand,
all whilst tilting masked-face away.
I belly-laughed when I heard,
half-choking “Romance ain’t dead”
followed by “Now, that’s erotic!”
I was asked to leave the premises,
because of my selfish spluttering,
by two burly Doormen…
via ‘2 Metre Rule’ Ape-Menacing
rather than old-school physical contact
… where I responded appropriately.
I have yet to hear of a single case
of an ‘Anti-Lockdown Protester’
becoming ill because of this Virus.
The seriously worrying thing is
that last Spring they were hoarding
toilet rolls, sanitizer, and tinned food
… whilst this Season it is Weaponry.
There Will Be Riots, Mark My Words
(Providing Everyone Continues To Practice Social Distancing Whilst Doing It)