(Frontline) Covid-19 (Anti) Social Distancing

“Oi!, Don’t get all ‘Caveman’ with me, mate
… or, ‘Uniform’ or not, I’m-a go Ballistic!
You’re not even real ‘Security’, are you,
you’re a hobbyist, mush,
doing a little bit of Doorwork
so you can chat-up the pretty Till Girls,
and earn some extra drinking money,
the size of that beer belly, you need it, n-all.
Look, I’m-a stop pushing you, yeah
… when you step-outta my path, innit.
Anyway, you’re picking on the wrong geezer,
that arsehole cowering down behind you
has got 12 packs of 38 toilet rolls in his trolley,
and I’ve only got the 9 in mine, I’m not having it
… now, I want a couple of ‘em off him, right.
He’s lucky Britain’s calmed down and curtailed
its knifing and stabbing epidemic…
or he’d have some nice internal stitching
to go along with that busted lip I’ve just given him
… so, one last time, Get Out Of My Fucking Way!”

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.