Hail all mischief!

(Mimes and antihistamines)

Hail all mischief
thou who have suffered
for the nation
Hail those in the House
or in bottoms foggy
those who follow
in his train,
banners blood stained
borne afore
by Amtrak from Delaware
to usurped Ukraine
son, all aboard!
Welcome those who
like Nero
explain those transfers
and feign the hero.

Hail to the chief,
with great indignation
bemoan the slaves,
but don’t torch the plantation!
To praise their pretensions
they only wait
Cannibals chewing
at the Senate’s gate.
Hail to the Chief
chosen by the nation
beyond deceit
the kind elected
by folks so long despised, rejected
hoping for relief;
detesting Goldwater’s weary wench,
who as a rosy whore and thief,
brought sixteen years of global stench.

Not on the chief,
but on thee they tread,
even democracy feigned
they dread
Remove the almost tyrant
in vicious cries
with pockets stuffed
(preferring Pence in sighs).
Yours is to make this country grander
Hail we thus our bleached blond commander
Had slaveowner Washington
but been a king
Would we all devoutly,
servile cling,
and with Langley’s rapture
even your praises sing!

Dr T.P. Wilkinson writes, teaches History and English, directs theatre and coaches cricket between the cradles of Heine and Saramago. He is also the author of Church Clothes, Land, Mission and the End of Apartheid in South Africa. Read other articles by T.P..