“Listen Up Everyone, The Magic Mushroom Wizard”

"Is Going To Be Attending The Next Glue-Sniffer’s Ball, YAY!!!"

I’m taking Excitement and Animosity
all wrapped up in a bow
of Detrimental Ingenuity,
and shall be sporting a balaclava
and brace of throwing axes
for the Special Occasion.
We’re taping the back of the van
in polythene just in case we get lucky
at someone else’s expense.
I’ve heard that Chaos UK
might be putting in an appearance.
They’re bringing back last year’s
‘Spouse’s Explosive Musical Chairs’,
and there’s a vicious rumour circulating
that they’ve found an entire troupe
of bedraggled Subway Buskers
who can actually sing and play
both in tune and on time… yeah, I know.
There’s going to be a Sketch Artist
selling the cutest Doppelganger Shadows
in between the Vegetarian bean burger stalls.
And if you hear ‘They Have A Cave Troll’
over the Tannoy system, it’ll mean
that the Filth have turned up team-handed
to enforce the Criminal Justice Bill…
and it’s time to scarper and meet up later
over at Phyllis’s Midnight Secret Garden.

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.