Parallel Universe: Pelosi swears herself in as president and the “world” recognizes her

Just outside of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi swore herself in as president. With right hand on the bible, she vowed to defend and protect the U.S. Constitution.

Watching the breaking story on Fox News, Trump unleased a Twitter storm like none other. If his previous contentious tweets were tsunamis, this was a deluge. Throughout U.S. media outlets, Republicans denounced Pelosi’s act as unconstitutional. Sean Hannity squinted, as though looking into the audience’s eyes, and asked why other nations don’t respect U.S. sovereignty. In a Rush Limbaugh interview, John Bolton asserted that the world doesn’t honor the political will of Americans.

To Trump’s surprise, Canada and India immediately recognized Pelosi as president. They claimed that Trump had subverted the rule of law, violated institutional norms and oppressed the American population. A population which, Trudeau added, had not seen a collective check raise since the Nixon administration. Angela Merkel and others followed suit, including Emmanuel Macron and Tory PM Theresa May. Boris Johnson shouted at May in parliament, declaring he’d travel to America to fight with Trump as a “brother in arms.” All EU countries except for Hungary, Italy and Poland recognized Pelosi as the ‘rightful’ president. South Africa, Argentina, Australia, New Zealand and several other nations did likewise.

Back in the USA, Trump supporters had taken to the streets. They claimed Pelosi’s act was illegitimate and that foreign countries supporting her coup wanted a piece of the U.S. economic pie. Particularly, they contended, India was trying to corner the international film market. Already Bollywood films were equal to Hollywood in global popularity. But if they could get a more agreeable leader in power, India could control Hollywood and, essentially, own the global film market.

Pelosi supporters also took to the streets, with some attacking government offices and Trumpistas. For those not privy to American political nomenclature, Trumpistas are how Trump supporters have ironically been branded by the opposition, calling to mind Trump’s anti-immigrant policies at the U.S.-Mexico border.

The EU sanctions against the U.S., which two dozen non-EU countries also signed onto, had taken a serious toll on the U.S. economy. Inflation had drastically increased food prices and many Americans had to sell a car from their two-car garage. The sanctions had gone into effect shortly after Michael Cohen’s testimony, which depicted Trump as a low-life mafia boss. This testimony, in addition to Trump’s National Emergency, which suppressed legislative power to fund a border wall, were the straws that broke the camel’s back.

It was Angela Merkel who went furthest in the Liberty and Freedom Watch group, an international anti-Trump association. Merkel said that she was considering an EU-India force, covertly backed by Russia and China, to topple Trump and install Pelosi.

Bollywood executives’ eyes glistened in anticipation. The German auto industry masturbated about rebuilding Detroit as a non-union, cheap labor workforce. China readied itself to feast on the heartland’s agricultural produce for free.

Now it’s just a waiting game.

Peter F. Crowley is an independent writer and scholar with a M.S. in Conflict Resolution, Global Studies from Northeastern University. His writings can be found in Truthout, Mint Press News, Boston Literary Magazine, Ethnic Studies Review and several other publications Read other articles by Peter F..