She’s Not There

Our culture is now one of masculine triumphalism, in which transhistorically feminine expressions – empathy, sweetness, volubility, warmth – are seen as impediments to a woman’s professional trajectory in many sectors.
― Antonella Gambotto-Burke, Mama: Dispatches from the Frontline of Love

Femininity is depicted as weakness, the sapping of strength, yet masculinity is so fragile that apparently even the slightest brush with the feminine destroys it.
― Gwen Sharpe, “Policing Masculinity in Slim Jim’s ‘Spice Loss’ Ads,” Sociological Images, August 21, 2012

She has been missed. I looked for evidence of her somewhere in old documents, a remnant left behind, something, but she’s not there. Yet still, when the mistral winds blow cool the stale heat of summer lifts, and there is a scent that reminds me she existed, but there’s no tangible sign. I focus, concentrate, try to remember what she was like, the memory is vaporous, haunting, and then gone. What’s left behind is a feeling. A feeling like something more is possible than this if only she were here.

A feeling reminds me again that she was our collective compassion. She was our gentleness. She was our softer side, the empathetic parts that urged us to let things go, to emotionally connect in the moment, to accept, to forgive. She was our Gaian heart. And I remember this with perfect clarity, she didn’t leave on her own, we got together and plotted her removal, burned her at the stake, and thereafter took up games of vain competition without conscience or compassion.

When Narcissus murdered Venus it was a vicious attack on humanity.  It was when humanity became mankind, when lechery replaced seduction. We are now a culture left without her divine voice, where anatomical women may remain but their voices rearranged. They think strength is being tough like the men, the toxic corrupt hierarchy of men who never wanted equality, that lineage of dominant patriarchy wants a push button, on demand, authoritarian, might makes right, I’m the fucking man of the house so do what I say Biff-topia world. Our destructive suicidal ways of living are thunderously reverberating message, bellowing out that a great balance was lost when the feminine voice was exterminated.

There are more women today who have lost touch with the feminine than not, and too many men who have never had a notion of the feminine, all lost in myopic vanities, algorithms, and financial asset appreciation. Their monied machinations are rigid and inauthentic, designed to exploit society into doing that which serves the good of no one in the long term. However, we cling to what we know, and what we know is competitive games of empire, oppression, hierarchy. Business as usual is a game of acquisition and domination, masculinity without remorse or taste, tough guy attitudes that dictate when times get tough you do the same thing harder, it’s the macho way. To them, collateral damage is always acceptable as long as they get what they want.

The rabid power hungry masculine mind controlling our society wants the feminine voice permanently snuffed out of historical record, but we remember her still, and like a Phoenix she may rise again if we conjure her forth. This isn’t really about our society not having enough women with the proper anatomy in positions of power, though that is an issue, but rather what’s really absent is the feminine voice in our reasoning capacity, the empathetic, the subtle, and the peaceful are gone on the world stage. We are deeply out of balance where the analytical mind rules the empathetic. Competition is favored over cooperation. Tough love, which could also be called cruel self serving apathy, is preferred to a transformative healing touch. The purely masculine mind has run away with our society, stripped out the joy, and left only a rough shell of the superficial.

The role of the feminine is loaded with unknown power. A power perhaps sufficient to quell the ills of the society by restoring balance, that is if she could find her voice once more. However, we are collectively trapped in a lineage of ideas, traditions, and legacies still being paid homage which are holding back the entire planetary evolution. Patriarchal minds that want things their way are sitting on power generation after generation to the detriment of all. A lineage of extreme class hierarchy and inequality driven through might makes right ideology .

To turn the collective mindset is to become conscious to subtleties once more, to pay attention to what feelings are telling us, through meditation we can open up channels within ourselves to feel again. To let our impulsive desires go, and again resonate with a balance of mind that is no longer lurching for attention, but rather strives to become free, peaceful, and cooperative where we reach out with sincerity and symbiosis to help each other and all conscious life. Our collective emotional disposition is malleable through conscious intent of each individual to change. To change we must be consistent stewards of our waking minds and make it better moment by moment.

More ass kicking is decidedly not what the world needs now, rather perhaps now is the time to listen with open hearts and wisdom. There will continue to be lies told from those in power desperately looking to hide for a myriad of reasons, and we must not become so outraged at these lies that we don’t understand what is most important. If there is resentment, anger, or hatred these will all keep the status quo exploitation brimming along, where as softness, calmness, authenticity, emotional connection are all our allies. We have to learn to forgive everyone and no longer seek to punish or lash out in vengeance, rather simply correct what is wrong, as to bring an end to the stream of harm being done so we can heal.

Our society is full of things that lash out in anger and lack gentleness. Every time the US sanctions a country, or they drop bombs, or each time they put someone in a cage for breaking a spurious law created by masculine minds in suits, these are acts of cruelty, minds that want to dole out punishment like an authoritarian daddy. It’s a system that operates with its eyes shut to emotional wisdom.

Regardless of one’s gender and what masculine or feminine traits people identify with, the mind must have proper balance or it loses itself. There is an optimal state where one analyzes when appropriate and also when appropriate to allow one’s self to emotionally open up and connect within and with others. When we find ourselves unable to use proper voice in appropriate situations it’s usually a sign things have gone awry.

If only the analytical competitive brain rules then people turn cold, unsympathetic, and argumentative; conversely if only the feeling emotional brain rules then dramas arise easily. Both are states of an over abundance of ego identification and too much of a focus on self. Equanimity of states arises naturally when the ceaseless mind chatter of narratives ends and cultural perversions are seen for what they are. By recognizing the cultural imbalances we can choose something different, a way of living where she is asked to come home again and have an equal place in the conversation.

Jason Holland is a writer and a proponent of peaceful revolution. Visit his blog Reasonbowl.com. He can be reached at jason.holland@reasonbowl.com or follow him on twitter @ReasonBowl. Youtube content at Reason Bowl Radio. Read other articles by Jason, or visit Jason's website.