Don’t pray for rain if you aren’t ready to drown

Today I
want to
watch my
burn in
an apartment
today I
want to
turn the
dead soldiers
and children
into sandwiches
to feed
the politicians
who call
war inevitable
and track
profit margins
today I
want to
find the
Afghan boy
who’s colostomy
we reversed
and ask
if he
is still
or if
as a
man he
now knows
who hurt
him in
the first
today I
want to
set free
the voices
in my
head to
smack the
anvil of
my life
with the
iron hammer
in my
today I
want answers
to all
the questions
my ghosts
have asked
me every
day since
the war.

Matthew Borczon recently retired from the United States Navy reserve after 20 years of service. He has published 17 books of poetry; the most recent PTSD a Living Will is available through Rust Belt Press. He is married with 4 children Read other articles by Matthew.