I Own My Suffering… It Doesn’t Own Me

I cope and I manage
the best that I can,
sometimes
by the skin of my teeth.
Keeping level is a struggle,
always,
there are just so many
triggers these days.
I do not tolerate
mean spirited people anymore
and the shallow ones
I have to ignore
because they’ve become alien
to me now.
Loneliness is indeed
a double-edged sword,
there’s a healing
and pause for reflection there
but also festering,
coldness and emptiness.
Most people are broken
by something or someone,
I have all of that too
but I’m more disappointed
with myself.
I had too great of expectations-
not about life
because life is beautiful,
magical and wonderful-
but of people.
I let them get in the way
of the horizon,
where they whipped
and lynched my soul.
And with broken
rose-tinted spectacles
smashed
from my unbelieving face
they helped me see
the truth about carefulness at last.

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer who deals in the Lowlife, Outsider, and Outlaw genres.  He wrote his first poem as a teenager following his release from the (Infamous) Borstal ‘HMP Portland’, and he has been creating Literary Terrorism ever since.  His novel ‘Crazy Like Emotion’ published by Close To The Bone Publishing is available to purchase right here Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.