I Own My Suffering… It Doesn’t Own Me

I cope and I manage
the best that I can,
sometimes
by the skin of my teeth.
Keeping level is a struggle,
always,
there are just so many
triggers these days.
I do not tolerate
mean spirited people anymore
and the shallow ones
I have to ignore
because they’ve become alien
to me now.
Loneliness is indeed
a double-edged sword,
there’s a healing
and pause for reflection there
but also festering,
coldness and emptiness.
Most people are broken
by something or someone,
I have all of that too
but I’m more disappointed
with myself.
I had too great of expectations-
not about life
because life is beautiful,
magical and wonderful-
but of people.
I let them get in the way
of the horizon,
where they whipped
and lynched my soul.
And with broken
rose-tinted spectacles
smashed
from my unbelieving face
they helped me see
the truth about carefulness at last.

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.