The Night Swansea Sound Radio Station Put The Phone Down On Me

“…yes, you’ve answered.
I’ve done it.
I’ve got a book published.
In America.
Little Old Me
from the backstreets
and council estates of Neath.”

“Are you inebriated?”

“Of course I am!
Aren’t you listening,
I’m celebrating.”

“Drunk callers are not welcome
at this radio station.
Besides, you’re a liar,
whoever you are?
‘THEY’ don’t publish
people from the backstreets
and council estates of Neath.
Ha! no one’s interested
in all of that horribleness.
This is a wind-up.
You’re going to give me
your gang-name in a minute,
hoping that I’ll say it live on air.
So your friends and family
who are in Swansea Prison
and listening right now
Can be proud of you
for getting a shout out
on the graveyard shift.
Well, not on my watch, buster
go away… and overdose!”

Paul Tristram is a widely published Welsh writer, who’s currently up to his elbows in Magic, and long may it remain this way. Read other articles by Paul, or visit Paul's website.