Billionaires Love Sweet Tarts

Let’s get blunt: when the rich support presidential candidates they do so out of self interest. They don’t want to change anything other than perhaps get their taxes further reduced. The system has worked for them perfectly thus far. Why fix what ain’t broken? I suppose you could say most vote from self interest, but when their interests revolve around paying rent next month it tends to hold more weight than I want a bigger yacht.

Here’s a for instance, as brought to my attention by most excellent beat reporter Armando Salguero from the Miami Herald: Stephen Ross, real estate magnate and owner of the Miami Dolphins, a man that knows nothing about football, as evidenced by the Dolphins’ shit stain of a record, thought it would be cute to own a football team so he bought one, and he also thought it would be cute to maintain his obscene wealth so he bought a politician too, Jeb Bush. This guy makes shit choices, Ross that is, well I suppose Bush too.

What is likely is Mr Ross has the intellectual prowess and emotional disposition of a ten year old addicted to Sweet Tarts. ((My apologies to Sweet Tarts for the negative associations, your delectable candies are delicious; don’t ever stop being you.)) This man, if you want to call him that, is desperately trying to get more Sweet Tarts to keep this unsustainable sugar high going forever. How can he not see that all around him there are real issues facing the world. There are real people hurting, has he convinced himself that someone like Jeb Bush is going to help those people or solve any of the problems we face? The American people don’t think so, so why does Stephen Ross? But this is also a man that believes quarterback Ryan Tannehill will win him an NFL championship, this billionaire is delusional.

My opinion, I don’t believe he’s even thought about the issues — either for the US or his football team. He has likely adopted the most convenient positions that fit nicely into his worldview. After all, the sugar high doesn’t keep going unless the bubble world the rich construct around themselves also continues. To my knowledge, unfortunately there isn’t a high induced by admitting how wrong you are or critically thinking past one’s own selfish desires for Sweet Tarts.

One thing is sure, this adolescent in a business suit has too many toys he’s not mentally developed enough to handle. But I’m unfairly picking on Stevie, he’s not the only billionaire baby; what about Sheldon Adelson with his casino toys, or the frightening display of the Koch brothers holding hands amid stacks of cash at the Overlook hotel. These pieces of vile excrement also want their sugar highs. They want politicians to give more to them while throngs of desperate people cry out they don’t have enough to get by. Although there are just so many billionaires to mention, and I don’t want to leave out anyone, oh my gosh I’m so nervous, I’d also like to thank George Soros, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and billionaire rookie of the decade Mark Zuckerberg. And how does the Sweet Tart addict rebuke glutful, slothful exploitative ethics of their wealth? Well we should work harder, like them, ((Billionaires don’t do shit.)) and you too can buy politicians who will ignore the populace and cater to your insufferable demands of more Sweet Tarts.

Donald Trump got so pissed off he didn’t get his little ego stroked enough he decided to buy himself as a politician. What a self made man. Rather than pay someone else to force the workers into the Sweet Tart mines, Donny decided he’d pick up the whip himself. Talk about American self reliance, this man is the definition of bootstrappy behavior.

Trump wants walls built, a return to greatness – evidently his sugar high bubble has been lacking – and what else? Lower taxes for him maybe? Unlike Jeb, people adore Trump, mostly for his aplomb and venom-osity, but people are confused as to why he is angry, it’s not because he’s tired of the downtrodden getting even more trodden upon. No. Donny is angry because it’s nappy time and someone is getting a little cranky. All this populism, for the Sweet Tart, by the narcissist, and dedicated to a better sugar high for all those privileged enough to own their very own Sweet Tart mines.

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