The Blood on Their Hands Will Be Tory Blue

Terrorist sympathisers
Get back in your box,
Stay in the lobby
If our ‘Yes’ vote leaves
A bad taste in your mouth.

Trust me, I know,
I’ve read the report
Ingested media speculation
From town house in suburbia.
Mobilised by terrorism
I vote for retribution
See my ideals are magenta:
Labour Red in the field,
Tory Blue in the House.
I ignored my constituents
They’re obviously idiots
Radicalised by social media

Let’s blanket bomb Syria,
Let’s flatten the middle-east
Get rid of Daesh
By killing the next generation
Of Jihadi Johns.
We can rebuild the country
Fashion a McDonald’s from the debris
Turn the rubble into a mall,
For who can be angry
About losing their siblings
Chomping a Big Mac in Top Shop’s new collection.

They’ve taken over Tooting
Finsbury Park, the whole city.
What next? People
New Church Road,
Heaven forbid they reach Hove Park.

No need for a whip
I’ll vote ‘Yes’ with a smile
Please sir, please sir,
Can we drop some more;
800 grand a bomb, 35 for the flight
We don’t need hospital-wards
The casualties are not ours.
Ebola’s under control— AIDS an 80s footnote
In fact, let’s shutter the NHS,
I make more going private
Pay for some new teeth for our Syrian nanny
Because I’m a socialist true blue Labour man.

• Dedicated to Hove and Portslade Labour MP Dr Peter Kyle, who voted to bomb Syria.

Paul Crompton is an itinerant soul moving from Norfolk to Brighton via the U.K.'s West Country. By day he writes for a business magazine and by night attends Brighton's many spoken word events. Read other articles by Paul.