The Lexicon of Zion

Author/jazz artist Gilad Atzmon has combined with cartoonist Enzo Apicella to produce, as it is entitled, The Definitive Israeli Lexicon: A to Zion. And true to its title, provided are the definition of words from A to Z — from a Jewish-Israeli standpoint.

coverA2ZAs the book’s composers make clear, it is a “truthful yet satirical book.” They also unashamedly state that it “is probably the ultimate toilet book.” In a sense this is very true because it is full of shit which is a euphemistic way to describe the belief that one people has the right to commit assorted crimes such as stealing another people’s land, homes, and laying siege to their victims.

This dispossession, occupation, and oppression of Palestinians by Israeli Jews is captured with a delicate balance of seriousness and, tongue-in-cheek by Atzmon and Apicella as they conclude their book with a mantra uttered meaninglessly by too many Jews: “Never again” — to which Atzmon and Apicella add “hopefully.”

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The definitions range from humorous to serious and dark to controversial.

A sampling will provide a taste:


Ben Gurion — an airport near Tel Aviv


Concentration Camp — so we stay focused


God — was invented by us so he could choose us over all other people


Israel — a place where we can punish Arabs for crimes committed by Europeans


Palestinians — a uniquely stubborn breed of Arab who, for some peculiar reason, choose to live in our promised homeland


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UN — a lot of resolutions, nice blue hats


Near the end of the book, Atzmon and Apicella have kindly provided room for readers to add their own lexicon.

Among those I would add:


Resolution, UN Security Council — nothing sticks to our Teflon coat


Veto — shields us from UN Security Council Resolutions. Good for Jews (see Iron Dome)


Atzmon and Apicella know well that language is a weapon of the occupier. They use that language to expose the occupier’s unseemly side.

In need of more toilet reading? Get Atzmon and Apicella’s The Definitive Israeli Lexicon: A to Zion and add to the lexicon of Zion.

Kim Petersen is an independent writer. He can be emailed at: kimohp at Read other articles by Kim.