Self-Defence: A Government-Approved Guide

Israel has a right to defend itself
as a sovereign country…
— David Cameron

I have consistently defended Israel’s
right to defend itself, and that includes
doing what it needs to do…
— Barack Obama

And the playground bully
has a right to defend himself
against the smaller kid
huddled in the corner with a bloody nose

so let’s hear it for the prefects
who stand back and let him get on with it,
let him do what he needs to do.

And the housebreaker
has a right to defend himself,
against the victim who happens to be home

just like the mugger
has a right to defend himself
against the victim who happens to be out

so let’s hear it for the ease
with which the knife and the cosh
were put in their hands.

And the police in riot gear
have a right to defend themselves
against the words and banners
of people armed only with words and banners

so let’s hear it for batons
and tear gas and water cannons,
the taxes we pay to kit them out.

And tanks
have a right to defend themselves
against borders and boundaries

and bombers
have a right to defend themselves
against sets of co-ordinates

and battleships
have a right to defend themselves
against the other country’s territorial waters

and snipers
have a right to defend themselves
against whomever loses their nerve and breaks cover

and the bullet
has a right to defend itself
against flesh and cartilage and blood and skin

so let’s hear it for the firepower
that does what it needs to do
and teaches the poor and the weak who’s boss.

And the trade in arms
has a right to defend itself
against morality
against lawfulness
against public opinion
against life against liberty
against anything that jeopardizes a fall in profits

so let’s hear it for governments
let’s hear it for lobbyists
let’s hear it for the media

let’s hear it for the polished soundbites
of a man in a suit putting his mouth
where someone else’s money is.

Neil Fulwood has published three collections with Shoestring Press, ‘No Avoiding It’, ‘Can’t Take Me Anywhere’ and ‘Service Cancelled’. A collection of political satires, ‘Mad Parade’ has just been published by Smokestack Books. Neil lives and works in Nottingham. Read other articles by Neil.