Is Barack Obama Pulling a George Zimmerman?

“United Nations, 911 emergency operator, this is Ms. Athena, how can I assist you?”

“This is Barack Obama, President of the United States, and I would like to report the presence of a suspicious, and probably dangerous, person in my neighborhood.”

“What is happening, exactly, Mr. President?”

“Well, it’s one of those bad actors, again. Something horrible has happened and I’m sure this guy is the one responsible. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Mr. President, I most certainly do not know what you are talking about. Are you in danger at the present time?”

“Me? At present? Well, taking everything into account, no, I couldn’t say that I’m in danger at this moment.  But you let one of these characters hang around the neighborhood, and, well, you know something bad is going to happen eventually.”

“Where is this person at the present moment?”

“Right now? Right now I’ve got him in my sights. He’s acting very suspiciously. I could take him out if I wanted to.”

“Mr. President, if you are in no danger at the present moment, you should stay where you are, do nothing. That’s why you called us. This is our job. We’ll have our people on it. Wait… Our agents are already proceeding to the scene.”

“But that will take too long. Like I said, I’ve got him in my sights.”

“Mr. President, I repeat, stay where you are. Do not try to apprehend the suspect yourself. Our agents are on the way.”

“But you don’t understand, Ms. Athena, I’ve got him in my sights right now. I don’t have to go outside or anything like that. Don’t you worry about me, I’m in absolutely no danger myself.”


“Mr. President, this really isn’t your job. I repeat, let us take care of the situation.”

“But you don’t understand, Ms. Athena. I’ve got all my buddies here and they say that if I don’t take out this suspicious character right now, well, you don’t really want to know what they’re going to call me. I’m a big boy now and I don’t have to listen to people like you. I’ll show you and everybody else just how tough I really am.”

“Really, Mr. President, the situation can be handled without you having to to take any drastic actions at this time.”

“They’re going to say I’m just a spineless sissie who can’t pull the trigger when he has the chance. All my new friends are just going to laugh at me.”

“Mr. President, there are worse things that could happen.”

“The President of the United States cannot be laughed at. Not while I’m in office. I’m going to do it. All I have to do is punch in the right numbers on my remote and I’ll be the war hero who stopped another one of them from doing any more bad, bad things.”

“Mr. President, you haven’t shown anyone any evidence that the man in your sights actually did the horrible act. You called us, Mr. President, let us do our job.”

“No. Sorry. He’s got to go. I’m going launch as soon as I hang up the phone.”

“Mr. President, please don’t. The right people are on the way to deal with the situation. Please wait.”

“No, sorry, it’s time for me to prove just how tough I really am. Besides, he’s not really one of us, now is he?”

“Please, Mr. President, don’t. After all, don’t we all look a little like the son you could have had?”