You Are Invited to a Reading Hosted by the Blue Velvet Bookstore in NYC

Blue Velvet is  run by an all-women’s collective of what Mayor Michael Bloomberg called “some of the most talented female-impersonators  on the New York Club scene.”

The ghosts of William Burroughs and J. Edgar Hoover will read from their new book, No Small Change: Gender Bending for National Security and Profit.

Discussion to follow.

It was the fictionalized postulate of Mr. Burroughs that “with the right chemicals and gadgets, women could be easily replaced by men,” which inspired Mr. Hoover to initiate Operation Switcheroo, initially to enable him to become the woman he’d always wanted to become so Jack Kennedy would finally love him for “who he really was.”  With the support of Alan Dulles, the project was re-directed toward the goal of kidnapping Fidel Castro, altering his gender, and returning him to Havana, beard intact, to face a ridicule so devastating he would not be able to hide himself, not even behind an Iron Curtain.

The rest, of course, is logged in the lucrative annals of the Healthcare Industry (formerly known by the archaic, misleading appellation, “Medicine”).

Radical Empathizers, Sympathizers and Obamabots will be happy to know that the ghosts of George Sand, Anais Nin and Oscar Wilde have been banned from all events for their collaboration on the rebuttal book, Fun with Androgyny: Defining Gender on the Cheap  written ostensibly as an alternative to the costly sex change operations performed by the NIH Master of Protean Unhingement Sex Surgery (PUSS), Dr. Felix Mengele, especially for those poor, penniless, uninsured androgynes born before the era of Big Science — or in the wrong market region of the planet.

The book, praised by such luminaries as David Bowie, Patti Smith, Bjork and  Dr. Frank N’ Furter, was rightly lambasted as reactionary and genderbenderphobic by talk show hosts throughout the Nation, and the authors forbidden from ever appearing on the Tofu and Mineral Water circuit again.

Before a small gathering of spirits protesting in front of the Blue Velvet Bookstore, Anais Nin read a statement which said, in part, “No one should be oppressed, ever, under any circumstances, but it seems like the actual oppressors, in this case, are the guys in white coats and stethoscopes.”

She and her coterie of ambisexual ghosts were driven off the  premises by book-store clerks and clientele wielding an arsenal of crystals, healing herbs, Camomile Tea and reciting aloud passages of literary criticism by Edmund “Bunny” Wilson, Lionel Trilling and Northrop Frye.

Organic New York State wine, stone-ground wheat crackers and vegan soy-and-seitan Brie, Havarti and Camembert will be served after the reading.

Some critics have called Yizhak Maplebury “a poet of no small importance.” Others have called him “a small poet of no importance.” Little is known about Maplebury as he exists beyond the page. Unproven rumors have abounded that he was (and perhaps still is) a notorious gang-land/CIA hit-man, code-named, “The Egghead,” whose method of dispensing “justice” (for those who pay – him – unto those who most egregiously fail to pay the ones who pay -- him) inspired fear in the hearts of even the most jaded power-brokers on the world information/money market. The notorious NYC mobster, Boss Parcheesi, for instance, was mysteriously abducted from the locked vault he'd had himself sealed into, only to be found, what remained of him at any rate, in a New Orleans tobacco store, in a tin of what an unsuspecting, quite obviously horrified, customer had assumed, upon purchase, was a can of vacuum-packed, safety-sealed, fine Virginia pipe-tobacco. Again, these allegations are unproven. Anyway, what does it matter what Maplebury did – or does – to earn his “living?” We modern readers are not concerned with the life of the artist, but the value of the work... Read other articles by Yitzhak.