Goodbye Alaska (for Palin)

My secretary bought the ticket to Alaska, dropped it on my desk in earnest, left me simmering in oils of nightmare.  A series of blunders led to this predicament.

Alaska is disintegrating.  The natives’ earnest efforts to make perma-frost stay stuck, a geological nightmare, did nil to amend their predicament, and Nanook, nabbed hording snow,  received a ticket.

I woke from a nightmare: a series of missteps led to Alaska, where the trees and polar bears are dying, and earnest Eskimos, their igloos soft as sorbet, pray for one-way tickets the-hell-outta the White Man’s petroleum predicament.

The ticket in my pocket read “First In His Class, Seat A,” but I didn’t need it after all: my predicament ended when Alaska floated straight to me. True, it was a nightmare for earnest sunbathers, but ultimately,  “life’s a beach” (full of Alaska).

It is what it is. Read other articles by Xero.