The DMC and the Cabinet Re-Shuffle

The Ongoing Diaries of Thruxton Cum-Largely, British Government Special Advisor

Thursday September 6th, 2012

Events over the pond are hotting up in the presidential race. I’m loath to admit it, and if asked by the press I shall absolutely deny it, but it’s looking increasingly like Obama will take the White House again this year. Bill Clinton, the sax toting (s)ex president managed to give a speech without any chair at all. Shocking.

Of course, we’re no fans of Romney, or his fictionally fiscal obsessed VP, but at least his party stands for the right things. The right to a Swiss bank account without accountability, the right to plunder and fire and still be called a wealth creator and the right to lie to the public. The public doesn’t want the truth anyway. If they did, they would never vote for a politician.

At Westminster, the Prime Minister’s re-shuffle this week caused the usual fuss amongst ministers. My minister has kept his job at Administrative Affairs despite the hospital fiasco and the fourteen dead penguins at London zoo. Sadly we still haven’t had the courage to throw our coalition partners into the Thames. I’m reliably told the Business Secretary at least can’t swim.

Fortunately the PM has seen fit to appoint several top-hole choices. Jeremy Hunt may have a haircut normally favoured by 11 year olds but I for one think his new role in charge of the miserable commutarian National Health Service is a triumph. He has destroyed every other department he has been involved in and so I fully expect the NHS to be dismantled, intentionally or otherwise, within months.

Mark Prisk takes over from Schapps at housing and about time too. Schapps always said he was concerned about the homeless. I am too. There clearly should be more but Schapps, shockingly felt we should be housing these things that litter Shaftsbury Avenue. Hasn’t he heard of Darwin? What does he think a cold winter is for? The problem is Schapps wasn’t ousted, or shot, as he should have been. He’s been made party co-chairman. I must give him a tour of the towers at the Palace of Westminster. They are very tall and often slippery.

Friday September 7th, 2012

The European Central Bank has unveiled its latest plan to save the continent’s Noddy money. They plan to let the printing presses run and give all the money created to other banks. I have some sympathy with a plan that enriches the wealthy.  They clearly have the moral entitlement, but the markets rallying really is premature. The currency is so easily forged they might as well let people print them out at home on their computers. Something I daresay the southern nations are already doing.

Henry is a UK musician, sound designer, occasional journalist, and owner of Derailed Records. Read other articles by Henry, or visit Henry's website.