Deep in the Heart of Bullpuckey

When I get up in the morning I always grab the newspaper and skim it over breakfast. There’s usually not much in there that helps me wake up, but December 22, 2010 was an exception. On page 7B under the subhead “Redistricting,” I read a quote from U.S. Rep. Michael Burgess, a Republican from Lewisville, Texas. Burgess said “Anytime you can add Texans to the roster in Congress, it’s good for the country.” My brow furrowed.

Taken at purely face value, I’m sure most Texans find this statement hard to disagree with. We are after all Texans and it plays to our sense of pride and Lone Star swagger. But if we flip on just two or three lights in the oft unused rooms upstairs, this claim is long on hat but short on cattle.

Texas is after all home to U.S Rep Joe Barton. He’s the beady-eyed Republican sycophant from Arlington who actually apologized to BP during the Deepwater Horizon oil spill hearings. It wasn’t one of our finer moments. In fact, it might be one of the most embarrassing moments in the history of the U.S. Congress.

If I’m not mistaken, Texas is also the home state of former U. S. House Majority Leader Tom “The Hammer” DeLay. When he’s not clumsily stepping up on Dancing with the Stars, he’s getting convicted of money laundering, the charges of which forced him to somberly step down from politics. Oh, and he was also a K Street lackey who has said his proudest moment was intervening to keep Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube from being removed in 2005, and this after unplugging his own comatose father after an accident in 1988.  And did I mention his right-hand lobbyist was Jack Abramoff?

We also have to claim John Cornyn, as in corn cob in each ear (pardon the pun). He’s been deaf to any discussions of climate change or global warming and he’s never met a polluter he didn’t like. He voted against banning drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, reducing fossil fuel usage by 40% instead of 5%, ending subsidies for oil and gas exploration, including oil and gas smokestacks in mercury regulations and factoring global warming into federal project planning. During his long and undistinguished stint as a U.S. Senator, the League of Conservation Voters has awarded him a score of 0% for his voting record on legislation aimed at protecting the environment. All around swell guy and visionary. Really.

It’s not as if there’s a pattern. I mean we’re not a state that would let a transplanted Yankee weasel from a Big Oil family seize the governor’s office after running a few companies into the ground, serving as part-owner of a pro baseball team and then shooting the state bird. And we certainly wouldn’t permit the same silly imbecile to bluff his way into the White House, lie us into a war, turn American soldiers into war criminals or sit idly by while the middle class became an endangered species.

None of that stuff could happen right under our noses, right?

There might have been a time when most Texas politicians at the national level weren’t an embarrassment, but it was at least a half-decade or so before this millennium started. And it doesn’t look like they’ll be a change in our political delegation any time soon.

Meanwhile, our domestic politics (so to speak) reflect our embarrassing representation at the national level. We have a State Board of Education that thinks the Scopes Monkey Trial was a mouthwash taste-test involving Curious George. We have a state Railroad Commission that’s sat on its thumbs so long regarding air quality standards that the EPA is stepping in to administer air permits. And we’re on the verge of allowing three dozen other states store their radioactive waste on Texas soil.

I was born in Texas and I’m as Texan as the next guy, but I’ve learned to face the facts. If your IQ is over 75 and you’re not ignorant, misinformed, an Aggie or an employee or beneficiary of the oil and gas industry, you’re going have a tough go of it around here. Most of us aren’t just drinking the Red (state) kool-aid; we’re guzzlin’ it from a boot. And the kool-aid imbibers outnumber the level heads by a country mile.

We vote against our own interests. We thumb our nose at laws made to protect us. We’d rather be wrong and well-off than right and modest. We’re a geographic ringer for a new line of “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts.

The United States doesn’t need more Texans in Congress. It needs more Texans to wake up and smell the bullpuckey.

Fort Worth native E. R. Bills is the author of Texas Obscurities: Stories of the Peculiar, Exceptional & Nefarious and Tell-Tale Texas: Investigations in Infamous History. Read other articles by E.R..

25 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Charlie said on December 31st, 2010 at 1:56pm #

    “If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent Texas and live in Hell.”
    General Philip Sheridan (1831-1888)

  2. bozh said on January 1st, 2011 at 2:45pm #

    another post deleted

  3. Don Hawkins said on January 1st, 2011 at 3:44pm #

    If Texas succeeds from the union such as it is will the price of gas go up? Now with Socialistic revolutionaries in the white house this could get a bit tricky. I can only go with what I hear on Fox New’s that are fair and balanced and all college graduates am sure. The number one in new’s.

  4. lichen said on January 1st, 2011 at 4:29pm #

    Texas culture involves using excessive corporal punishment on boys in schools and at home throughout their teen years. This produces violent, agressive, traumatized right wingers. If this practice was ended, as it was in Sweden in 1975, this would allow cultural progress.

  5. Don Hawkins said on January 1st, 2011 at 4:44pm #

    “Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious…”
    Michael Stipe

    “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears.
    It was their final, most essential command.”

    “Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four,” Winston says.
    “If that is granted, all else follows”

    George Orwell said we must continually repeat the obvious. That need was never more urgent than it is today. It is obvious that killing people is not a way to a peaceful world. It is obvious that war is a totally discredited way of resolving disputes. Countless millions of citizens round the world know this.

    This government has the citizens of Britain fighting two vicious and vacuous wars. It has committed us to spending billions of pounds on renewing our Trident Armageddon machines thereby illustrating that, in order to strut their inflated egos on the world stage, our leaders are prepared to put at risk the survival, not only of the people of Britain, but of the human race.

    Our task is to find and elect politicians whose focus is peace, not power.
    Jim McCluskey DV

    “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears and so far it seems to be working very well.

  6. Mulga Mumblebrain said on January 1st, 2011 at 11:33pm #

    Very true lichen. I was thrashed a good deal at school, by a couple of deranged teachers, and several cold-blooded ones. The ‘Christian’ ones were amongst the worst, and my treatment was as nought compared to the brutality dished out at church schools by various orders of ‘brothers’, or to stolen generations of indigenous children, taken from their families in an act of genocide, or the white lower-class children, taken from their families in the slums of the UK, and delivered to a life of servitude and brutality. It makes you distrust people, which is no bad idea, because most people in the West have been dehumanised by capitalism, religion, racism, advertising, the mass moronic media and all the other diseases of ‘Western Civilization’. As to what humanity might have been like if the positive virtues and impulses had been promoted and cultivated, rather than the negative ones, we will, obviously, never know, because the ecological clock has struck midnight. Perhaps our broadcasts, picked up by other cosmic civilizations, might be useful as cautionary tales.

  7. hayate said on January 2nd, 2011 at 2:12am #

    More on good ole american Christian intolerance, brought to you by those friendly folk of the u.s. military:

    US freedom to Rock-n-Roll? Maybe not


    (The video has additional info))

    One could say the u.s. military has gone texan, but that institution has always been extremely anal.

  8. 3bancan said on January 2nd, 2011 at 3:23am #

    hayate said on January 2nd, 2011 at 2:12am #
    Imho the best solution to put the US military in the right drift would be to make them sing and dance Hava Nagila before meals and sing Hatikvah together with (karaoke-style) pre-recorded version sung by Rabbi Ovadia Yosef on Sabbaths and by Obama the other days. The translations and arrangements will be provided by PatrickSMcNally…

  9. hayate said on January 2nd, 2011 at 5:23am #


    That would sure put them in the mood for the role they will be playing. But they should be allowed every once in a while to blow off some steam dancing to israel’s #1 rock [artist]:


    And for those veteran memorial holidays, the idf band could provide some inspiration:


    Only the best for israel’s #1 colonial army…..

  10. Don Hawkins said on January 2nd, 2011 at 5:34am #

    Been reading reports out of Australia as there are no reports from the media here in the States I guess they are staying on subject. Here’s just one from Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

    Resident Reg Wilson says he does not want to leave his home but police have told him he has no choice.

    “A man came along in a car with a gun on his hip who said ‘you be out of here by five o’clock or else’ and when a man with a gun talks to you like that, you get out,” he said. ABC

    And as Mulga just wrote we will, obviously, never know, because the ecological clock has struck midnight. Perhaps our broadcasts, picked up by other cosmic civilizations, might be useful as cautionary tales.

    Here in the States are leaders will be back and very sure stay on subject is it to late so far it sure is as go shopping or it’s the economy stupid or talk of ball players or movie stars and staying on subject in Texas yes they do have a problem in Houston the new EPA rules well again mere child’s play as to save what life we can on Earth will take a little more than that.

    Mr. Henry Fate the seller of pot’s and pan’s and …………………………………..?

  11. beverly said on January 2nd, 2011 at 10:04am #

    Lichen wrote:

    “Texas culture involves using excessive corporal punishment on boys in schools and at home throughout their teen years. This produces violent, agressive, traumatized right wingers. If this practice was ended, as it was in Sweden in 1975, this would allow cultural progress. ”

    Sweden may have benefitted way back when, but it appears to have regressed on cultural progress. Exhibit A: Sweden’s participation in the US war on Julian Assange; Swedish troops in Afghanistan. I also recently read that Sweden was per capita the largest exporter of arms.

  12. hayate said on January 2nd, 2011 at 2:58pm #

    beverly said on January 2nd, 2011 at 10:04am

    The zios run Sweden now. Not much more to say….

  13. shabnam said on January 2nd, 2011 at 6:28pm #

    Looking at list of the countries voted AGAINST Durban III, “Combating Racism”, one can tell where Sweden really stands….

    It is obvious that Macedonia who voted against the resolution Durban III was forced to do so. Majority of the countries voted against the resolution were ‘ Western democracy’ who followed Israel’s ORDER to vote against the resolution ‘combating racism’, including Sweden.

    The vote was 104 nations in favor of the resolution and 22 against, with 33 abstentions.

    IN FAVOR: Afghanistan, Algeria, Argentina, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belarus, Belize, Benin, Bhutan, Bolivia, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Burkina Faso, Burundi, Cambodia, Cameroon, Chile, China, Colombia, Congo, Costa Rica, Côte d’Ivoire, Cuba, S. Korea, Djibouti, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Egypt, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Fiji, Gabon, Ghana, Grenada, Guatemala, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Jamaica, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Lao People’s Democratic Republic, Lebanon, Lesotho, Liberia, Libya, Madagascar, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Mali, Mauritania, Mauritius, Mexico, Mongolia, Morocco, Myanmar, Namibia, Nepal, Nicaragua, Niger, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Panama, Peru, Philippines, Qatar, Russian Federation, Rwanda, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Singapore, Solomon Islands, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Swaziland, Syria, Thailand, Timor-Leste, Togo, Trinidad and Tobago, Tunisia, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Tuvalu, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, United Republic of Tanzania, Uruguay, Venezuela, Viet Nam, Yemen, Zambia, Zimbabwe.

    AGAINST: Australia, Bulgaria, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Germany, Israel, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Marshall Islands, Micronesia (Federated States of), Netherlands, Palau, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Sweden, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, United Kingdom, United States.

  14. hayate said on January 2nd, 2011 at 7:02pm #

    shabnam said on January 2nd, 2011 at 6:28pm

    “Majority of the countries voted against the resolution were ‘ Western democracy’ who followed Israel’s ORDER to vote against the resolution ‘combating racism’

    IN FAVOR:…China…Russian Federation…Turkey…”

    But…but…but…you’ve said it yourself that China, Russia and Turkey are all zionist stooges. How come they are allowed to disobey massa while the usa is not?

  15. shabnam said on January 3rd, 2011 at 5:26am #

    {But…but…but…you’ve said it yourself that China, Russia and Turkey are all zionist stooges. }

    I am not going to answer you back because I have explained earlier. You either don’t understand that countries go after their elite interest, or you play it as such.

    The zionist/US puppets lile Saudi Arabia, Azerbaijan, Colombia, Jordan,
    Jordan and others also voted IN FAVOR of the resolution. Grow up.

  16. shabnam said on January 3rd, 2011 at 6:17am #

    {Tensions are on the rise again in the Gaza Strip after Israeli attacks on two refugee camps left at least two civilians wounded. Israel insisted the attacks were “retaliation” for rocket fire from the strip.
    Israel insisted the attacks on the refugee camps were aimed at targeting Hamas and that they blame Hamas for the rocket fire, even though officials have repeatedly conceded that Hamas is not the ones firing the rockets and are indeed struggling to prevent such fire by their rivals.}


    Turkey has improved her relations with the Zionist state since the last empty slogan was given. We know Gaza blockade has been worsen and Turkey does not talk about this demand ANY LONGER. The condition for improvement of relations with Israelhas been reduced to AN APOLOGY which is very CHEAP.
    The reason behind all these cheap slogans for Turkey is to capture Arab minds and heards to perform her duty as a client state.
    Turkey also spread another empty slogan that Turkey will not tolerate if Israel attack Lebanon, thus, Israel must face the consequences. Well, we will see who is right. According to the News:

    {Israeli Army Chief Gabi Ashkenazi informed a US Congressional delegation that he was preparing for a “large scale war,” though he hadn’t picked a target yet.}
    Turkey must be prepared to show the world that she is not giving only empty slogans to fool Arabs and the world in order to expand her own interest as US client.

  17. hayate said on January 3rd, 2011 at 2:50pm #

    shabnam said on January 3rd, 2011 at 5:26am

    “I am not going to answer you back because I have explained earlier.”

    No, you posted rightwing zionist propaganda designed to undermine support of those countries among anti-zionist people. It’s the exact same crap the zionists who say Hamas is an israeli front do. And for the exact same reasons.

    You’re not even consistent in your propaganda, either. One day you posted anti-Turk statements from some Turkish rightwing nationalist party (an obvious zionist front) who regularly criticise the current Turkish guv for being too lax on the Kurdish separatists and within approximately the same week you also posted anti-Turk propaganda from a phoney leftwing Turkish org (another obvious zionist front) who defend the pkk terrorists and criticise the Turk guv because they are too harsh on the pkk. You even defended the pkk in that latter post. This is a terrorist front org run by israel and the u.s. They even attacked a Turkish facility at the same time the israelis attacked Gaza aide convoy to distract the Turks from the israeli attack (or perhaps rub the crime into Turkish sensibilities further and enhance the intended insult of it). This pkk is also one of the terrorist orgs ziofascism, inc. is using for terrorist ops inside Iran, where it is also rightly considered an terrorist org operating under orders from ziofascists. Yet there you were, a supposed Iranian patriot, defending this terroroist pkk zionist front org.

    This is typical of zionist hasbara – who cares about consistency when any slur will do, eh.

  18. mary said on January 3rd, 2011 at 3:10pm #

    I think you once warned us about Craig Murray Hayate. He has fallen off his trolley completely now and has posted this Zionist inspired trash on his blog.

    A friend who knows Gaza well says:

    “I read the first few paras the other day and knew it had more to do with the Zs and their surrogates Fatah than anything else. I have not got the time to describe what I know about the younger people in Gaza but will say that guns are now few and far between cf with when Fatah was in charge with NINE different ‘security’ forces running riot. I saw it. When there is a dispute – say over money, the parties are asked to attend the local (Hamas run) police station. Mediation is the preferred avenue. Thirdly, one can walk in the streets in the dark safely as man or woman. There is no religious police as per Saudi (our friends of course might wonder what the yoof there might want to scream about). When I spoke thrice to the students in the Islamic University of Gaza there was a small minority of young woman who wore ‘western dress’.

    The turnout for the elections in 2006 were better than here I believe, this being the lowest since ?56. Hamas ended with a majority in the legislature under the rules of the Basic Law. Do not forget they wanted to be inclusive and wanted Fatah to join them in government but our friend Mahmoud Abbas, no doubt with the West at his shoulder, wanted totality. Unless Hamas has done great wrong, it should be supported.

    I ask you all to read the stories of these boys who have been shot methodically by the brave young men of the IOF.


    Would they use the F word? Would they rant like this? No. They are not little rich boys with all the gizmos who want the eviscerated corpse of Palestine to end up like Las Vegas – as Gaza was almost. Hamas burned 4 tons of drugs after they pre-empted the Fatah coup. And the man who was thrown off the high building was a Hamas soldier. And when they opened the cells, well down in the basement. they found two Hamas men rotting. They had been tortured.

    I feel sick with people sitting in comfort exercising their prejudices and their ”democratic’ tendencies.”

  19. shabnam said on January 3rd, 2011 at 5:51pm #

    You are SUPICIOUS. I have told you before as well. YOU ARE NOT IN ANY POSITION TO LABEL ME with “zionist hasbara” because you are unable to understand that I am criticizing Edrogan’s empty slogan to expand Turkey’s interest in the region as a client state.
    • Are you that ignorant not to understand these simple facts? I don’t want to argue with people like you who have reduced the meaning of ‘zionist’ to cabbage by overusing the word. Turkey not only voted in favor of Israel to be admitted to OECD after Gaza genocide, Flotilla massacre, but also has forgotten his own slogan, Gaza blockade must be ended before Israel and Turkey can normalize relations. I am afraid that Edrogan has brush all his empty slogans off the page and is satisfied with an apology in private from the Zionists. Edrogan never called his ambassador home, even one hour, during the Gaza genocide, but Chavez called his right away. You must be ignorant to the core not be able to distinguish lies from ‘political slogan’ to capture Arab’s mind and hearts to manipulate.
    • Turkey voted for Israel entry into OECD in November 21, 2010, after GAZAN GENOCITE AND ATTACK ON Flotilla in the international water BY ISRAEL. This vote was against Prime Minister Salam Fayyad request who tried to block Israel’s entry.

    I am tired of your silliness. Get a life.

  20. hayate said on January 3rd, 2011 at 7:40pm #

    mary said on January 3rd, 2011 at 3:10pm #

    “I think you once warned us about Craig Murray Hayate. He has fallen off his trolley completely now and has posted this Zionist inspired trash on his blog.”

    That’s rather irrelevant, mary, since I never claimed murray was zionist. In fact I speculated he was probably being honest in his anti-israeli postings. What I claimed was murray was an mi6 propaganda dispenser and dispenser of rightwing, old school, British establishment propaganda in general, since his views generally matched those and worked to further their interests. That doesn’t necessarily mean he is pro-zionist, as a great deal of the British right is not zionist, as is true of many of their rightwing allies in other countries, such as the usa. What he writes about Eastern Europe and Central Asia is the exact same propaganda promoted by the rightwing British establishment and promoted through disinformation dispensed by their security services, such a mi6. Murray duplicated their propaganda exactly on such issues as politskaya and litvenenko, for example.

  21. hayate said on January 3rd, 2011 at 9:57pm #

    Here is shabnam attacking israeli enemies Erdogan and the Turkish AKP party (using 3rd party cnp) because they would not accept the israeloamerican terrorist front org, the pkk, as a legit representative of Kurds in Turkey (posted in full so there will be no mistake of its context):

    shabnam said on November 27th, 2010 at 12:08pm []

    “For charlatans and illiterate people to read to know the kind of liars they are:

    {To present Erdogan as a saviour for the Palestinian masses is to disregard a series of contradictions that hold his government hostage to the status quo in the Middle East. The first and most obvious is the utter hypocrisy of the AKP when it comes to the Kurdish question. The historical framework of the Palestinian and Kurdish questions differ considerably, but there is similarity in the way they are subjected to national oppression, by Israel and Turkey respectively (although in the case of the Kurds, there is the additional factor of the fragmentation of this people among many Middle Eastern states). To stand up for the rights of the Palestinians and yet deny the Kurds their most elementary rights is a contradiction in the simplest sense of the term and this is exactly what the AKP government is doing.

    Erdogan has recently come out and declared that, having won a lanslide victory in the elections, Hamas cannot be considered a terorrist organization, forgetting that the legal arm of the Kurdish movement polls more than two thirds of the vote in quite a number of Kurdish provinces! The much-vaunted ‘Kurdish overture’ or ‘opening’ that was launched by the AKP government last fall (and abruptly abandoned only months later) amounted to no more than an attempt to liquidate the PKK’s (Kurdistan Workers’ Party – Partiya Karkerên Kurdistan) influence on the Kurds of Turkey in return for token reforms. Given the hegemony of the party, it turned out to be a dismal failure.

    Erdogan, co-chair together with prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero of Spain of the so-called Alliance of Civilisations, a product of the Bush era, in effect acts as a Trojan horse of imperialism in the Arab world.}


    This ziofascist sponsored rubbish conflates the pkk and the Kurds, as if there is no difference between them. This is like saying al ciada represents Sunni Muslims. In more ways than one, since both the pkk and alciada are israeloamerican fronts for destabilising other countries and influencing things inside those countries. That shabnam quotes this zionist propaganda, means he agrees with the zionist front’s damnation of the AKP because they wont accept israeloamerican pkk terrorists as legit.

    The fact the writer of that piece shabnam quoted sympathised with the israeloamerican pkk, and tried to equate them with Hamas (FFS), shows he, and his paper, are most likely zionist fronts posing as left in Turkey – much like orgs like z-net and dem. now do in the usa. They are there to put the “correct zionist spin” on the leftism people are exposed to.

    As I posted earlier, the pkk doesn’t just limit its terrorist activities to Turkey, they operate against Iran in collusion with other israeloamerican terrorist front orgs attempting to destabilise that country. The pkk is also the “enforcer” wing for the israeloamerican occupiers of Kurdish northern Iraq. There, they operate basically as guv run death squads.

    Any one who would claim the Turks are being oppressive because they try to eliminate the israeloamerican pkk terrorist front org is either on the side of the israeloamerican terrorists, or an idiot who believes their propaganda without knowing it. As shabnam posts extensively damning Turkey for bogus, zionist originating reasons, it’s obvious he’s not a dupe, but a dedicated hasbarat playing a role. His connections with both the zionist niqnaq blogger and the israeli honey pot site (probably as the poster there called “iranian shiite”) further confirm this, as far as I’m concerned.

  22. shabnam said on January 3rd, 2011 at 10:10pm #

    You are an ignorant person. I am not going to engage with you in any discussion because you have no logic.

  23. hayate said on January 3rd, 2011 at 10:30pm #

    Why do you post pro-pkk propaganda, shabnam? You know, and everyone else knows, these terrorists work for ziofascism, inc. Why do you do it? Especially why do you support them when one of the places they terrorise is Iran?

  24. hayate said on January 3rd, 2011 at 11:58pm #

    Expect more zionist anti-Turk propaganda, especially if this months talks have a positive outcome:

    Turkey, Iran discuss Iran’s upcoming nuclear talks

    Published: 22:57 December 23, 2010

    “Istanbul: Turkey’s foreign minister says he has discussed the next round of nuclear talks between Tehran and six world powers with Iran’s new acting foreign minister.

    The talks will held in Istanbul next month….”


  25. hayate said on January 4th, 2011 at 1:32am #

    Welcome to texass:

    High School Softball Coachs Out Lesbian Student