Real or Bizzaro News?

Israel Expands Settlements To Washington D.C.

In a bold move that shocked Wall Street, Main Street and J Street, Israel expanded its settler housing to Washington D.C.
President Obama and his family were ordered to vacate the White House so that it would be available to Israeli officials when they visit the occupied territories in the Senate and the House.

Speaker Pelosi expressed surprise when told that Netanyahu had asked for her congressional leadership position in another bold move that showed Israel practicing its political chutzpah as never before.

“I thought he would ask for the presidency and am flattered and of course only too willing to accede to any demands made by our most important friends in the world, the Israelis,” said Pelosi.

The ADL accused her of practicing thinly veiled anti-Semitism by only mentioning the world instead of the universe.

Obama Supports Wealth Care For All Americans

In soaring emotional rhetoric not heard since his last soaringly emotional speech, the president expressed soaring emotional support for all wealthy Americans and for the overwhelming 90% majority who are not yet wealthy but will be someday if our free markets and credit purchases can fully flower and bloom and blossom and, uh, whatever.

“This nation will thrive and survive as long as people are free to get wealthy and I intend to fight to the last breath to keep the freedoms we enjoy that allow wonderful hard working billionaires to get even more rich and then help the rest of us with tax deductible donations to charity.”

When asked about health care for all Americans the president said he supported it, but it would only be possible when more rich people were given tax breaks that enabled them to buy more private health insurance companies and then make tax deductible donations to charity.

Bankers Urge Freeing Madoff: Say Fed Needs His Help

A consortium of bankers, financiers, entrepreneurs and gourmet chefs joined in calling for the release of convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff. A spokesperson for the group said that only someone with his skill sets could lead the Fed and help the nation out of its most serious financial crisis.

“Let’s face it, our economy has been a massive Ponzi scheme for years now and the person who can best get investors to buy into this mess has to be the man who did it before with absolutely nothing but his mouth and an enigmatic smile. Now he’ll be able to peddle shares in our new Financial Utilization of Credit Kleptocracy Unions of Penury fund, a derivative collateral fandango perceptivity subtracting coercion swapperama market which, along with that Mona Lisa quality of his, will be impossible for egotistical and exceptionally dumb investors to resist . Nothing will more insure the survival of our leaking ship of state than to have captain Bernie at the helm.”

Reality Celebrities?

Producers of reality shows and celebrity gossip programs have joined forces to create an all new viewing consumer product. It will combine the most appealing candid moments of real life embarrassing drama lived by ordinary people who thereby become celebrities, and scandalously embarrassing moments in the lives of celebrities which may reduce them to lives as ordinary people.

The new show will feature celebrities during unguarded moments as they use their toilets, or have sex or beat their children. Then ordinary people will be shown having the same experiences affording viewers the double pleasure of watching people who are better looking, more talented and have far more money than they make complete asses of themselves while also enjoying their peers who have little money, looks or talent becoming celebrities by virtue of being portrayed using toilets, having sex and beating their children.

A spokesperson for Humping International Values productions, which owns the rights to the proposed show said, “We know our viewers love watching their slightly better looking peers making asses of themselves enough to make them stars and they also love gossip about the flaws of celebrities they love and also hate. This will afford them a double pleasure. We expect it to be bigger than American Idol. The twits twixt twelve and twenty market will love it and bring the older mob of wannabes along with them.”

The working title for the show is:

Frank Scott writes political commentary which appears online at the blog Legalienate. Read other articles by Frank.

6 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Don Hawkins said on March 20th, 2010 at 9:48am #

    Watching Fox New’s and the tea party today in front of the Capital. It looks like many came in on busses that must cost a little and only close up pictures of the rally makes it seem like more people are there. There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. Calm at peace the Capital one voice loud and clear and it will take a lot of us.

  2. Don Hawkins said on March 20th, 2010 at 10:21am #

    The Weather Channel today said that record snow and cold in some parts of the States. For some reason they always’ forget to mention the fact that because of the ice melt in the Arctic due to rather warm temperatures global winds better known as weather patterns are not going to change but already are changing and in the coming years change a tad bit more. They always forget to mention that and maybe something or someone is in control of there minds.
    There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. Yes we wouldn’t want to scare anybody like if health care passes grandma and grandpa will be put to sleep that is 100% BS. The truth is a lie and a lie the truth in old twenty ten.

  3. Don Hawkins said on March 20th, 2010 at 10:48am #

    Remember after health care and the bill that look’s like will pass and if it didn’t doesn’t mean the end of the human race as we know it as a start but the next bill climate change if kept in it’s present form a joke on the human race or doesn’t even pass because we will hear oh no not again you just got health care how much more do you want we have already had to lose the limo and sell one of our five houses how can we go on does mean the end of the human race as we know it as a start. The key here is go on. Get ready it’s on the way. Then again maybe it’s just better to put off a climate change bill for another place and time just better that way.

  4. bozh said on March 20th, 2010 at 3:05pm #

    The system won once again: the systemic malformation of health care, once again [or is just for the first time?] malformed but differently.
    I know “reform” has soothing quality. Just like public servants. We [me and my small head] having servants; oh my devil that zounds zo gut. I can sleep nights now.
    Blaming-praising one person for the heatlth care ‘reform’ going, going, gone also being of the system; as well as all other talking, finger pointing, etc.
    And,of course, nothing of the system can be injurious to the system. ?All msm collumnists know that anything they write is within and of the system and that system cannot ever be even nicked as a result of what thye say let alone signifcantly changed.

    Each collumnist knows the boundairies of the permissible discourse. S/he, oversteps it [let’s say, talks ab system] and s/he at least gets a warning.tnx

  5. Tex said on March 21st, 2010 at 4:06am #

    If you think Madoff ran a huge scam, Amway has ripped off millions of people for several decades, to the tune of 10s of billions of dollars.

    Amway is a scam, and here’s why: Amway pays out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam.

    As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. This was made illegal in the UK in 2008, but our FTC is unable to pull their heads out of their butts to stop it here.

    Read about it on my blog, I suggest you start here: and forward the information to everyone you know, so they don’t get scammed.

  6. Rehmat said on March 21st, 2010 at 8:20am #

    Why the White House acts the way it does?

    “I am sorry, gentlemen, but I have to answer to hundreds of thousands who are anxious to see the success of Zionism; I do not have hundreds of thousands of Arabs among my constituents,” – Harry Truman’s response to US diplomates, who advised him not to recognize State of Israel, November 10, 1945.

    “We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the world – no longer a government of free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and vote of majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of small group of dominant people,” – President Woodrow Wilson.

    “Should the Iraqis ever cross-over Israeli border for aggression – I would personally get in a ditch, grab a rifle, and fight and die,” former US president Bill Clinton, speaking at Toronto Jewish Fund Raiser, July 30, 2002. Interestingly, young Clinton refused to fight for his own country during Vietnam War!

    “The Modern Age is the Jewish Age, and the twentieth century, in particlar, is the Jewish Century,” – Professor Uri Slezkine (University of California, Berkeley – a Russian Jew – in book ‘The Jewish Century’.

    “Obama asks Shimon Peres: What can I do for Israel,” – Israel daily Ha’aretz, November 17, 2008.

    “I want to tell you something very clear, don’t worry about American pressure on Israel, we, the Jewish people control America, and the Americans know it,” – Zionist prime minister Ariel Sharon to Shimon Peres (the current president of USrael), October 3, 2001 – reported by Kol Yisrael Radio.

    “Our American friends offer us money, arms and advice; we take the money, we take the arms, and we decline the advice,” – General Moshe Dayan.

    “Looking at Zionism without taboos means seeing the hard reality of the domination and oppression it has created. Out of the original sins of the world against the Jews grew the original sins of Zionism against the Palestinians,” – Professor Benjamin Beit-Hallahmi (Haifa University) in his book ‘Driginal Sins’. He earlier wrote the book The Israeli Connection.

    “We killed them out of a certain naive hubris. Believing with absolute certitude that now, with the White House, the Senate, and much of American media in our hands., the lives of others do not count as much as our own,” – Ari Shavat, reported in The New York Times, May 27, 1999.

    “America is as much Jewish as Vatican is Catholic,” – Israel Shamir, a Russian-Israeli Jew citizen (converted to Christianity a few years ago) and columnist.

    “With the election of Nicolas Sarkozt as French President – Zionists’ domination of Europe has been completed,” – Le Figaro, French daily.

    “If Israel introduce a motion that the Ten Commandment is a forgery – there will be 70 Senators and 300 Congressmen to vote in favor of the motion,” – Uri Avnery, an Israeli writer, peace activist and former member of Israeli parliament.

    “He who control the information, control the world,” The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which were most probably written by Meyer Rothschild.

    Zionism is based on everything which is evil in Judaism – as Mohamed Khodr proves in his article – Jewish Power; The \”0.002%\” World Problem.

    Jewish control of western mass-media is a taboo topic – and when challenged, the person is labeled as ‘anti-Semitism’ or ‘Jew hatred’. A Christian religious scholar, Rev. Ted Pike wrote a very informative article on this subject.

    When Pope Benedict XVI spew filth against Islam, a religion which considers Pope’s Lord Christ as one of the greated prophets of Allah and his mother, Holy Mary, as one of the four most righteous women among Allah’s creation – but was affraid to criticize Jews for the Talmudic insults Christ, Holy Mary and the rest of Christians – An American Catholic women activist and writer, Joanna Francis, exposed the Pope Benedict XVI for his loyalty to Zionists than Catholics.