Stop the Government Takeover of America’s Armed Forces!

Let's Stem the Creeping Tide of Socialized Militarism Before it's Too Late...

Back in the days when our Original Founding Fathers — rugged, hard-working, self-reliant men like Charlemagne, Sweyne Forkbeard, and Basel the Bulgar-Slayer — created the system under which we thrive and prosper today — namely, feudalism — armies were, by and large, in private hand where they belonged. In those days, the merest suggestion that a nationalized army was under consideration by some illegitimate, foreign-born blackamoor prince or other was enough to send our gallant, free-enterprising forebears scuttling back to their moat-girded castles for the billhooks, maces, broadswords, and war hammers guaranteed them under the Second Amendment to Erik Bloodaxe’s Rules of Civilized Mayhem. They understood (even if we have forgotten) the dangers inherent in allowing a government — any government — to limit the size and scope of a man’s legitimately constituted private retinue of armed retainers. The essential question was then (as it remains today): How can a man consider himself truly free if his government can constrain him from exercising his God-given right to use lethal force in imposing his will on his neighbors?

Needless to say, if our current “Pretender in Chief” and his socialist allies in Congress succeed in forcing through a government takeover of the military in this country, there is bound to come a day in the not-too-distant future when our grandchildren ask us in a plaintive voice, “Grampa, what was it like when you were young and legal questions were settled through manly tests of mortal combat unencumbered by meddlesome government interference?” I, for one, will not have the heart to answer that question. What about you?

And what about the so-called “public military option”? According to the independent research group ITTTTI (In The Tank Think Tank Inc), this is nothing less than the first step toward driving honest contractors like Xe/Blackwater and Wackenhut right out of business. And this at a time when an overwhelming majority of Iraqis and Afghanis say they are satisfied with the occupation forces they currently have and don’t wish to add another layer of wasteful and expensive armed bureaucrats on top of it.

But it’s not just the army that President Obama wants to nationalize. He also has plans to create a government-run navy. That’s right folks, he wants to undo three centuries of Profitable Privateering on the High Seas by innovative small business entrepreneurs like venture capitalist Henry Morgan of J.P. Morgan Chase and currency trader William Kidd of the investment firm Kidd “R” Us , in favor of a centralized fleet on the British model. And just in case you think that’s a good idea, I refer you to Sean Hannity’s exclusive on-air phone interview with a caller who identified himself only as 245-year-old mutineer Fletcher Christian of Pitcairn Island. He has precious little good to say about the Royal Navy, I can tell you.

Now we can take all this lying down, of course, or we can all rise up together and be miscounted! Join us in Boston at noon on September 31, 2009 for the Million Man Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, followed by the Million Man Boston Massacre. All you have to do is download any of the prefabricated slogans from our FOX News website, customize the spelling till your heart’s content, and paint it on your T-shirt with a ketchup-dipped freedom fry while standing in front of a mirror so you’re sure to get it right. Then drive to Boston with your car windows down yelling, “The Red States are coming! The Red States are coming!”

The other 1.7 million of us will be waiting for you inside the Old North Church.

And remember, the folks back home is a’ counting on ya…

Mark W. Bradley is a retired history teacher who lives in Northern California. He has been an antiwar activist since the 1960s, writing and marching against every American military adventure from Vietnam to the Iraq War. His satirical articles have appeared in numerous online publications throughout the United States, as well as in New Zealand, the UK, and the Netherlands. He can be contacted at: Read other articles by Mark.

6 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Socialism: Only Salvation for USA said on September 19th, 2009 at 8:14am #

    Mark: hahaha, this article is so cool, and it’s the way american slaves think. Most people in this country are libertarians pro-capitalism by default. That’s why socialism ideology is so hard in this narcissistic, individualist, radical-egocentrical, pro-Ayn Rand society of loners, of Robinson Crusoes, of people that think that “They have the whole world in their hands” without resorting to the need of collectivist solutions.

    To tell you the truth USA is f*cked up !! Because socialism which is the next-stage in political systems is so hated in this country, and because americans want to force the free-market capitalist system in USA, which goes against evolution and science, because of the fact that most countries are heading toward statism, big fat government control of corporations and toward socialism.

  2. Annie Ladysmith said on September 20th, 2009 at 12:07am #

    Dear Mark, i know it’s too late, the government is the military, the government makes the military, the military answers to the government and not the people. Now, get some information on mind-control and use the information to make sure the government stays out of your mind. I am actually serious.

    SOCIALISM guy, you are just a moran, they’ll put you in the zoo when take over!

  3. Annie Ladysmith said on September 20th, 2009 at 12:08am #

    SORRY! Socialism guy that was MORON!

  4. Weatherpunk said on September 20th, 2009 at 8:14am #

    Sadly, this is how a lot of the people I work with in the Department of Offense view the world. Every year, more work is being contracted out to civilians to perform because we want to do MORE MORE MORE & would sooner slit our own throats than either scale back our agenda or increase the number of recruited volunteers to make it an “in-house” operation.

    I’m in the business of Defense, myself, so I look forward to wrapping up my military career with what little quiet dignity I can muster early next decade. I don’t agree with the shift in manpower that our government is approving/enacting, but I believe in the reasons I joined & the standards I am expected to uphold; therefore, I’m not going to quit in the middle of my enlistment out of protest. There are still good, honest, decent Soldiers/Sailors/Airmen/Marines/Coast Guardsmen who volunteered to stand watch for the Americans at home & abroad, but there are fewer and fewer of us each year…

  5. Annie Ladysmith said on September 20th, 2009 at 4:36pm #

    Weatherpunk, what you say is very true, there are many, many great people in the US military but i think we’re seeing a lot of changes from the top down, changes that put the lives of military personel and their families in great and chronic danger (DU, as an example). However, a little history will show you that the American Armed Forces have always been expendable to their elected government. Get out now, before it’s too late.

  6. macdoodle said on September 21st, 2009 at 8:56am #

    Private assassins can do so many nasty things necessary to win that gov’t troops cant easily get away with.

    Hey, foreign based USA corporation, got a union issue? buy some private military assist. Think COKE in Columbia. forget wimpy management, troops go handle those rotten kids don’t want to work 16 hour days! Shhhhhh.

    Terrorists are pretty effective; on a larger scale, and private run no answering to those damn peace-nick humanitarian rules.

    Think of the possibilities….