Obama and the West’s Double Standards on Iran

A double whammy has hit Iran in recent days. First, much of the western world and western corporate media continued its rude behavior toward Iran through demonization of its president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Second, Iran made known a second uranium enrichment facility in a mountain near the Shiite holy city of Qom for which it has attracted much western criticism. ((Western media purports the revelation is because the US and its allies were aware of its existence. David E. Sanger and William J. Broad, “U.S. and Allies Warn Iran Over Nuclear ‘Deception’,” New York Times, 25 September 2009.))

On 23 September, many western delegates walked out of the United Nations General Assembly chambers during Ahmadinejad’s speech. The United States accused Ahmadinejad of using “hateful, offensive and anti-Semitic rhetoric.” Canada boycotted the address because, according to Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper, Ahmadinejad had said “absolutely repugnant” things about Israel. Neither country quoted what was repugnant or anti-Semitic.

A JTA article stated, “The lowlight, I suppose, would be this portion, where he attacks the ‘Zionist regime,’ accuses Jews of controlling the world and then blasts the United States, too.” ((Eric Fingerhut, “Ahmadinejad’s speech to the General Assembly,” JTA, 23 September 2009.))

From another JTA article:

Ahmadinejad spoke of “the elimination of all nuclear, chemical and biological weapons,” during his speech to the UN, but otherwise didn’t mention his country’s nuclear program. Instead, he criticized Israel’s “inhuman policies in Palestine” and said the Jewish state had committed “genocide” in a speech that led to walkouts by numerous other countries in the General Assembly. ((JTA Staff, “Ahmadinejad slams Israel as world powers turn up heat,” JTA, 24 September 2009.))

First, Ahmadinejad never mentions the word “Jewish” in his speech. Second, the only time he uses the word “Jews” is when he talked about “prepar[ing] a conducive ground for all Palestinian populations, including Muslims, Christians and Jews to live together in peace and harmony…”

Third, as for “genocide,” Ahmadinejad said: “How can the crimes of the occupiers against defenseless women and children and destruction of their homes, farms, hospitals and schools be supported unconditionally by certain governments, and at the same time, the oppressed men and women be subject to genocide and heaviest economic blockade being denied of their basic needs, food, water and medicine.”

JTA does not deny the charges by Ahmadenejad.

There are plenty of Jews that acknowledge the “Jewish state” is committing “genocide.” There are plenty of Israeli academics who acknowledge the Nakba. ((For example, Ilan Pappe, The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine (Oneworld Publications, 2006). Does Pappe go far enough? See Kim Petersen, “Nakba: The Israeli Holocaust Denial,” Dissident Voice, 18 March 2007. Ethnic cleansing is argued to be genocide: Rony Blum, Gregory H. Stanton, Shira Sagi and Elihu D. Richter, “‘Ethnic cleansing’ bleaches the atrocities of genocide,” The European Journal of Public Health Advance Access, 18 May 2007. See also Kim Petersen, “Bleaching the Atrocities of Genocide,” Dissident Voice, 7 June 2007.))

The Goldstone report — as mitigating of Israeli war crimes as it may be in equating the violence of the oppressor with the violence of the oppressed — is further acknowledgment of Israeli massacres of Palestinian civilians. ((Richard Goldstone, “Report of the United Nations Fact Finding Mission on the Gaza Conflict,” Human Rights Council, 15 September 2009.))

JTA mentions an “apparent reference to Jews, ‘It is no longer acceptable that a small minority would dominate the politics, economy and culture of major parts of the world by its complicated networks, and establish a new form of slavery, and harm the reputation of other nations, even European nations and the U.S., to attain its racist ambitions.'” ((JTA Staff, “Ahmadinejad slams Israel as world powers turn up heat,” JTA, 24 September 2009.))

JTA conflates Zionism with Jewry. It is Zionism that is the enemy of Jews. ((See Alan Hart, Zionism: The Real Enemy of the Jews, Volume One: The False Messiah (Clarity Press, 2009). I will write a review upcoming.)) It is Zionists who collaborated with Nazis during WWII. ((Lenni Brenner, Zionism in the Age of the Dictators: A Reappraisal (1983).)) It is Zionists who practice racism. Ahmadinejad made an apparent reference to Zionists.

Without a doubt Zionism is rife in Israel, ((Etgar Lefkovits, “Overwhelming Israeli support of Gaza op,” Jerusalem Post, 15 January 2009.)) and it is much supported by Jews outside Israel, but there is also significant opposition to Zionism among Jews outside Israel. Humanity is diverse and so are Jews.

Double Standards in the West

The Iranian disclosure of a second uranium enrichment facility in Iran has raised the hackles of neoliberal politicians in the West.

Stephen Harper called it a “grave threat to international peace and security.”

At a G20 news conference in Pittsburgh, Harper said, “Iran, the combination of its abhorrent ideology and its interest in nuclear technology, combined with increasing evidence of its obvious disregard for international law and for its obligations, constitutes a grave threat to international peace and security.”

Since when is “interest in nuclear technology” a crime or something bad? To pursue nuclear technology is a right of all nations. Canada has a nuclear program; it enriches uranium. Does Canada mention its nuclear program in speeches to the United Nations? Does Israel mention its nuclear program?

As for “obvious disregard for international law,” is that unlike Israel with a string of condemnatory UN Security Council resolutions on record against it and numerous others vetoed by the US? ((“List of United Nations resolutions concerning Israel,” Wikipedia.)) Or is this not obvious disregard?

What is the “abhorrent ideology”? He couldn’t mean the pursuit of nuclear weapons because that would include the US, Britain, France, and Israel. And certainly Zionism is not an “abhorrent ideology” for Harper. He promised Israel would always have a “steadfast friend” in his government. Erstwhile Canadian prime minister Paul Martin once remarked, “Israel’s values are Canada’s values.”

US president Barack Obama stated that Iran must “be held accountable to international standards and international law.”

Are all states states to be held equally accountable by Obama? What about Israel? Will the state cited several times as a violator of international law by UN Security Council resolutions “be held accountable to international standards and international law”? Will Israel’s nuclear weapons be dismantled and its nuclear facilities subjected to IAEA inspection? Will the US — the aggressor of Iraq, frequent violator of international law, found guilty by the World Court in 1987 of terrorism — “be held accountable to international standards and international law”? ((See Nils Andersson, Daniel Iagolnitzer, and Diana G. Collier (Eds), International Justice and Impunity: The Case of the United States (Clarity Press, 2008). Review.))

Obama threatened, “When we find that diplomacy does not work, we will be in a much stronger position to, for example, apply sanctions that have bite.”

Diplomacy (if one can call it that) hasn’t worked for many decades in historical Palestine, and the only US sanctions are against the oppressed Palestinians for daring to resist dispossession and genocide. Conversely, the oppressor state receives billions in US “aid” and diplomatic cover in the UN.

Obama added, “I would love nothing more than to see Iran choose the responsible path.”

One wonders if that is like the “responsible path” that the US took in aggressing Iraq on pretext of possessing weapons-of-mass-destruction and killing over a million people? Or is the “responsible path” the one Obama took in deciding to up the military ante in Afghanistan, thereby increasing the violence and killing?

British prime minister Gordon Brown said, “The international community has no choice today but to draw a line in the sand.”

One wonders: is that like the lines the imperialist British regime drew in the Middle East when it carved up the Arab world, breaking its promise to its World War I allies? Is it like how the British decided to give away Arab land to Occidental Jews without asking permission from the Oriental inhabitants of the land? It would seem that Britain has a far from marvelous history of drawing lines in the sand.

French president Nicolas Sarkozy charged that Iran’s enrichment facility is “a challenge made to the entire international community… We cannot let Iranian leaders gain time while the motors are running.”

Yet France is the country that helped Israel develop the Dimona nuclear facility and become a nuclear power. ((Peter Pry, Israel’s Nuclear Arsenal (Boulder, CO: Westview Press, 1984): 11.)) What about the Israeli “challenge made to the entire international community”?

Furthermore, the US, Britain, and France have a responsibility under the NPT to dismantle their nuclear weaponry. So what moral weight do such pronouncements from western leaders have? Is there something about the US, Britain, France, Canada, and Israel (this bellwether of colonizing or colonized states) that gives them some superiority in rights over other states?

Moreover, what does this reveal about the western corporate media, which merely serve as mouthpieces for the state’s interests rather than scrutinizing concentrations of power?

Choosing the Responsible Path

The US and other nuclear-armed states could gain much legitimacy if they act henceforth to eliminate stockpiles of nuclear weapons.

CBC warned, “Beyond sanctions, the leaders’ options are limited and perilous. Military action by the United States or an ally such as Israel could set off a dangerous chain of events in the Islamic world.” ((“Iranian nuclear revelation a grave threat: Harper,” CBC News, 25 September 2009.))

Would that be, as Obama puts it, choosing “the responsible path”?

Kim Petersen is an independent writer. He can be emailed at: kimohp at gmail.com. Read other articles by Kim.

22 comments on this article so far ...

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  1. Michael Greenwell said on September 26th, 2009 at 10:18am #

    Scott Ritter just wrote a good article about the nuclear thing in the Guardian…


  2. Shabnam said on September 26th, 2009 at 10:21am #

    I agree with you that we should be choosing the responsible path to prevent another disaster in the region which includes more sanctions.

    Iran has informed IAEA about its smaller uranium enrichment facility, a year ahead of the deadline required by the agency for NPT members to notify authorities to avoid complications, but this good behavior has been severely condemned by the Zionist’s puppets who insult the Iranian people by reading a page from the PROTOCAL of the elders written by Dennis Rose, and other ziononazis who have a grip over the US foreign policy.

    Obama along with representatives of the earlier empires, Brown and Sarkozy, who have committed genocide and crimes against humanity in the continent of Africa, Asia and Americas came strong at Iran demanding the Iranian government **come clean. **
    Obama who was moving his CHAIN MADE OF STARS OF DAVID AROUND HIS NECK so he can breathe easier told the reporters: “he would not rule out attacking Iran if they refused to ‘come clean’ while the other ‘leaders’ standing behind him barking the same song.
    Obama said: the second facility, reportedly an underground plant outside of Qom, was “inconsistent with a peaceful program” and claimed that the nation was “breaking rules that all nations must follow.” He, according to the instruction of PROTOCAL OF ELDERS, Dennis Ross and Butcher of Afghanistan, Richard Holbrooke, abandoned the main party’s warning, meaning IAEA that:
    “The IAEA has said the information it has been given suggests the facility, like Iran’s current one, is only designed to enrich uranium to 5%, useful only for civilian purposes.”

    The ‘leader’ of the ‘free world’, Obama, to show the ELDERS that he is doing a good job and their financial support for his presidency was a good investment, while he was moving his chain around his neck to make himself to look more ‘presidential’ told the reporters:
    “We expect the IAEA to immediately investigate this disturbing information and to report to the IAEA board of governors,”
    He made a fool of himself since Iran has already informed the agency which means the same thing.

    The funny part is that Bush administration knew about this legal site for many years and decided not to use it in a Zionist propaganda against Iran since he knew he was fooled by the Jewish Lobby waging a war against Iraq. He did not want to start another war against Iran, but apparently, Obama, coming from a different background feels he has to throw a bone in order to SAVE his seat at the WH.
    Another Zionofascist at the Council on Foreign Relations, Michael Levi said:
    “This gives the United States and its partners a stronger hand in the negotiations, [as] Iran is looking very embarrassed right now.”
    Forgetting to mention the recent poll by ‘World Public Opinion’ that more than 81% of Iranian people supports the legitimacy of Ahmadinejad’s re-election and they support him.
    A Zionist puppet, who owes her seat at the Congress to Jewish Lobby, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen said:

    “The U.S. and other countries must immediately impose crippling sanctions on the Iranian regime, including cutting off Iran’s imports of gasoline,” said Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, the ranking Republican on the House Foreign Affairs Committee. “The world cannot stand by and watch the nightmare of a nuclear-armed Iran become reality.”

    The closet Zionists have not been inactive since the election of Obama and are giving a helping hand in labeling Iranian election as FRAUD to strengthen Obama’s hand for further action against Iran to serve the interest of the ‘jewish state.
    One of these sites is Zmag where DiMaggio in an article with a “chosen” title “existential threat” is using the moment to serve the interest of apartheid state and brings more fools on board for a serve action against Iran. He writes:
    “Iran’s admission that it is enriching uranium at a second nuclear site was greeted with alarm in the halls of Washington and in American newsrooms on Friday. Obama has long warned about the “existential threat” that Iran poses to the U.S. and its allies. Concern over a nuclear Iran is understandable for those who are committed to the abolition of nuclear weapons, and for those who worry about the danger that nuclear proliferation poses for human survival.”

    The closet Zionist continues:
    I consistently stress that U.S. national intelligence and international intelligence provide no evidence that Iran is developing nuclear weapons. While I stand by this conclusion, it is worth noting that Iran’s declaration this week that it was quietly developing nuclear fuel (fuel that it had not reported to the International Atomic Energy Agency) is troubling for those committed to transparency in the development and use of nuclear fuel.

    Please notice the words ‘quietly developing nuclear fuel is troubling for those ‘committed’ to transparency…”
    Who is committed to transparency? Is he talking about the United States? Everyone can tell this is NOT the case otherwise the US would have not bribed India on Neocon south Asian policy which is pro Israel, or Israel stockpile, more than 250, ready to go and still continues illegally enrichment of Uranium and has not signed the NPT either.

    Juan Cole, a Bahia, also is following the same line as their brothers and sisters at the Zmag. He writes:
    [President Obama is slowly putting Iran in a box. His cancellation of the useless and expensive so-called “missile shield” program in Eastern Europe, which had needlessly antagonized Russia, has been rewarded with greater Russian cooperativeness on Iran. But in fact his move was shrewd and gutsy, since he predisposed Russia to increased cooperation with the US in regard to Iran’s nuclear research program. Obama’s full court press for a United Nations Security Council resolution on nuclear disarmament also pulled the rug out from under Iran’s previous grandstanding tactics, whereby it accused the US and its allies of only wanting nuclear dominance, not the abolition of nukes.]

    He does not tell the readers that it was ISRAELI, working with Russia behind America’s back, who believed an attack on Iran will be made possible by asking the Zionist puppet, Obama, gives more concessions to Russians in order to bring Russia on board. Russia and Israel have IDENTICAL POLICY against Iran where Russia using the Jewish lobby to squeeze more concessions from the US to strengthen her position for the near future when America is ruined by the Zionist wars in the region and Russia with ‘experience’ and financial resources can squeeze in to replace Americans in the Central Asia and the Middle East. Iran views Russia far more dangerous than the United States, but the Zionists have a win, win situation since they have one leg over the foreign policy of the United States and a foot in Russia’s corridor of power. Majority of the closet Zionists view Russia as a friend and push for more concessions for Russia against Iran.

  3. Shabnam said on September 26th, 2009 at 10:23am #

    Sorry, it is Dennis Ross not Rose

  4. bozh said on September 26th, 2009 at 10:53am #

    good point ab. russia. She’s not, ithinks, happy with muslim world. And to make matters worse, there is the probability that russia may be taken over by plutos.
    And world plutos are now uniting to obtain the planet and destroy all vestiges of basic human rights. tnx

  5. Shabnam said on September 26th, 2009 at 11:02am #


    You are right. No Iranian who knows the history of Russia in Iran trust Russia. Iran and the US are natural allies but due to tide grips of jewish lobby over the foreign policy of the United State,
    Iran has been replaced for Russia since Russia and Israel have secret relations pushing for each other’s interest against the interest of other parties. There are many of Russians, non ‘jews’ in the occupied Palestine.

  6. Michael Kenny said on September 26th, 2009 at 11:19am #

    In fact, the Iranians have pulled off yet another brilliant coup! The Polish missile deal was supposed to bring Russian support against Iran. So the Iranians twist the lion’s tail just to show that US/Israel are still alone. Bingo! Russia says nothing and Sarkozy sets the tone for the EU: if nothing is done before December (sic!), there will have to be sanctions! By December, the dust will have settled, the IAEA will have inspected and found nothing illegal and the big debate will be why did the US conceal the existence of this plant for so long. Remember the Cuban missile crisis? All those sharp photos? US spy satellites will have spotted the construction work long ago, so why did the US not blow the whistle BEFORE the plant was built? Were they setting up the Iranians? (Can’t you just hear the CIA guys lying through their teeth about how they “weren’t sure”?) And, of course, the question will then be how much of the whole Iran story is a US set-up?

  7. Don Hawkins said on September 26th, 2009 at 11:28am #

    Michael I read that article in the Guardian and went to your web site.

    So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable. – Aldous Huxley

    Man isn’t that the truth and today now the twenty first century a little more than miserable.

  8. Ismail Zayid said on September 26th, 2009 at 11:36am #

    Kim Petersen deserves congratulation on his excellent and courageous analysis of the hypocrisy and double standards practiced by the US and its allies, including our Canadian government. Obama and his allies speak of the need for all nations must comply with the Nuclear Non-Proiferation Treaty, but there is not a single word about Israeli defiance of this treaty and its holding stockpiles of hundreds of nuclear weapons. The message we get from all this is that Israel is above international law and its impunity cannot be challenged.

  9. Shabnam said on September 26th, 2009 at 11:48am #

    At the first paragraph should be no sanction. I am against sanction. so the lines are:
    [I agree with you that we should be choosing the responsible path to prevent another disaster in the region which includes no sanctions.]

  10. dan e said on September 26th, 2009 at 12:11pm #

    Great job, KP, congratulations & thanks.

    What think re this logic: vicious attacks on Obama from ultra-right fascistoid racists are mobilized by big $$ circles out of a series of motives, one being defense of Big Insurance & Big Pharma, but more importantly, these blatantly racist attacks from the right serve to shield Obama from criticism from the left.
    Here we have the most flagrant Uncle Tom in history, whose policies and rhetoric are as anti-Black as any downhome Republican politician, but you can’t criticism him without being suspected of bigotry.
    From the ZioImperialist point of view, this is what you call an Elegant Solution.

  11. rosemarie jackowski said on September 26th, 2009 at 1:22pm #

    No nation that has used nuclear weapons to kill civilians has any moral authority to decide what kind of a weapon system any other nation has.

  12. David said on September 26th, 2009 at 1:39pm #

    One of the themes of Ahmadinejad’s speeches is the disproportionate influence that Israel has because of its neo-colonial relationships with several members of the Security Council — while the Islamic world is underreported in even the rotating memberships (currently Turkey and Libya are members). The former empires, for their part, are not happy whenever the young upstarts do things on their own — such as the Goldstone report or the Durban conference. Also, whenever their nuclear hegemony — or that of their proxy states — is threatened, threats and blustering and a circling of the wagons occurs. When was the last time you saw Britain, France, and the U.S. quite as cozy as this week?

  13. Max Shields said on September 26th, 2009 at 2:38pm #

    dane, “Here we have the most flagrant Uncle Tom in history, whose policies and rhetoric are as anti-Black as any downhome Republican politician, but you can’t criticism him without being suspected of bigotry.
    From the ZioImperialist point of view, this is what you call an Elegant Solution.”

    Perfectly stated!

  14. Deadbeat said on September 26th, 2009 at 3:40pm #

    Great article Kim. I think the timing of this by the U.S, Britain, and France was to shift the focus away from the Goldstone report. What more evidence can their be of the strength and power of Zionism’s influence on Middle East policy. This racist ideology needs a real rejection and a real confrontation by ALL citizens.

  15. Michael Greenwell said on September 27th, 2009 at 2:21am #

    Rosemarie… well said.

    Hi Don. Glad you liked the webiste. Try the podcasts 😉

  16. Don Hawkins said on September 27th, 2009 at 3:32pm #

    Salvation for USA they posted that comment and that last sentence in your comment was an interesting thought. If we see in just the next few months just more foolishness and in 2012 Palin or HucKabee you know people of great wisdom become the leader of the free World not much else will matters now does it. A little fact I am sure a few don’t want on the Nightly News. Have a cup of coffee we will work together on this.

  17. kalidas said on September 27th, 2009 at 4:30pm #

    What free world?
    Did I miss something?
    I did take a nap earlier..

  18. dino said on September 27th, 2009 at 11:05pm #

    deceitceski could bring any proof from history ,there is a version of history which explains the justice of Zionists since 5770 years ago until now.A sample of how is written history we see in front of our eyes how Iran is accused by the righteous Occident of deception regarding her nuclear technology intention while “Despite the endless list of officials in the Bush and Obama Administrations who have presented Iran’s nuclear weapons program as something known with absolute certainty, top members of the US intelligence community have said as recently as last week that they in fact believe with high confidence that Iran doesn’t have an active nuclear weapons program.”
    In the Haaretz of today is a sample of enough way in which history is written and that with the contribution of Benzion Nethaniahu,the Bibi’ s father:”A long time before Bibi there was one B.G. Ben-Gurion’s diary documents, in his writing, a meeting with Benzion Netanyahu, Bibi’s father, in mid-November 1956, following Israel’s conquest of the Gaza Strip and Sinai in the war. Ben-Gurion was dizzy with excitement and declared the start of Israel’s Third Kingdom. U.S. president Dwight Eisenhower brought him down to earth in one fell swoop.

    Ben-Gurion wrote: “At 5, Netanyahu came over, editor of the encyclopedia. He had told me earlier that he had no personal intent or purpose for coming over, nor a party-related motive. Since the establishment of the state, he had left the Revisionist party. Between 1940 and 1948 he was in the U.S. and ran the propaganda operation of the New Zionist Organization. Fear of Russia had not yet emerged, but in certain circles they were already feeling the Russian threat. He spoke of a vacuum in the Mideast, and the threat of Soviet penetration, and explained the significance of Zionism. He believes that our public relations mechanism in the U.S. is weak and he is offering his services. He will get a year’s leave from the encyclopedia. His cover will be that he will be lecturing at some university. His subject is Jewish history. He wrote a book on Abarbanel.”
    “We must set up a non-Jewish team, among the most important authors, journalists, congressmen. We need to buy those who hate us – or at least we can make them neutral. For the first half year there might be a need for about a quarter million dollars. Later he will find money in America itself. There is no point in appearing before Zionist Jews. It is Americans that are needed and it is important that this organization would not be felt to have ties to Israel, but in practice it must be answerable to the Prime Minister’s Office. Because propaganda needs to be adjusted according to policy.

    “I said that I do not agree with all his comments, and that a great deal has been done in rallying public support, and that the U.S. government has assisted us a great deal since the establishment of the state, but that there is a need to step up activities, and that I would give him an answer in a week.”

  19. brian said on September 28th, 2009 at 2:44am #

    Has the IAEA ever visited Dimona??


    Did the govts of australia, US, UK etc walk out of Netanyahoos speech,where he says things like:

    ‘Netanyahu also scorned the Human Rights Council report on the Gaza invasion, saying the UN Human Rights Council is “a misnamed institution if there ever was one.” The Goldstone report said Israel carried out war crimes in its invasion of Gaza. Netanyahu said the UN has been in “free fall” ever since its 1975 resolution equating Zionism with racism. Netanyahu called on the UN to reject the Goldstone report.

    Netanyahu defended Israel’s actions in Gaza by equating them with the Allied bombing of Germany after the Nazis launched rockets on British cities.’

    This is brazen, and he gets away with it because of the control israel has of western govts.
    has anyone bothered to tell him Gaza is a concentration camp? Palestinians as nazis???

  20. brian said on September 28th, 2009 at 2:47am #

    ‘You are right. No Iranian who knows the history of Russia in Iran trust Russia. Iran and the US are natural allies but due to tide grips of jewish lobby over the foreign policy of the United State,’

    idiot, US and Iran are what? Mossadegh must be rolling in his gfrave at thagt malarky! Russia is by far the better friend for Iran than US, jew controlled or not. US not russia overthrew Mossadegh and imposed the shah!

  21. Mulga Mumblebrain said on September 28th, 2009 at 3:30am #

    kalidas, it’s a typo. What the Rightwing pathocrats are really parroting is ‘Fee World’, ‘Fee World’, and ‘Land of the Brave (oh the mirth!) and Home of the Fee’.

  22. russell olausen said on September 28th, 2009 at 11:29pm #

    I should think it is clear the world is in a state of constant war. What is called peace is but a time out for more plotting. These time outs allow the masses to drop their load, and be programmed for the next set of trials. The further conquest of the Levant and S.W. Asia is so ambitious that all whitish leaders are lining up for a real team effort. I will further guess that the nuclear genie is so near to out of the bottle that action sooner than later is likely. Having spent so long in this death cult, it is plausible that risk assessment is faulty. I will conclude with my favorite 50’s joke. Teacher- In case of a nuclear attack, hit the floor, under the desk with your head between your knees.Johnny what do you do in event of attack? Johnny- I go under my desk with my head between my knees and kiss my ass goodbye.