Moore is also a:

* Legal expert: "Mumia probably killed that guy."

* Parenting icon: "It's really a bad idea to have sex before you're eighteen."
"Your children do not have a right to privacy."

* Savvy political guru: "Draft Oprah."

* Naturalist: "Getting back to nature is a dumb idea. Nature doesn't want you anywhere near it. That's why nature created cities-to keep you as far away as possible!"

* Animal lover: "Animals don't have rights. Yes they should be treated 'humanely.' Yes, Tyson Foods and all the others that 'harvest' chickens are disgusting. But 'freeing' chickens from heir factory farms is idiotic. They don't know how to survive in the wild and they're just going to get hit by a truck." (Since humans get killed in motor vehicles at the rate of 117 a day in America, they must not be so adroit in the "wild," either.)

Besides these impressive credentials, Michael Moore has got it going on when it comes to the kitchen. As you might expect, he's quite the maverick...unafraid to step on toes. For example, he defiantly urges his readers to "lay off carrying on about the milk, no matter how bad it is for you."

The corporate avenger also admits: "I like Whoppers. Flame-broiled, juicy, chock-full of onions and lettuce and loads of secret ingredients. They're big too; bigger than the Big Mac...But I know Whoppers are bad for me, so I've given them up."

Besides his words of wisdom about dairy products and corporate-produced death burgers made from doomed cattle on land cleared in Amazon rainforests, food maven Michael Moore has this to offer in terms of dietary advice:

* "Vegetarianism is unhealthy."

* "Humans need protein, and lots of it."

* "Put down those sprouts and pick up a T-bone!"

All of the above quotes come from Moore's best selling epic, Dude, Where's My Country? In that book, Moore rightfully calls on President (sic) Bush to provide answers, details, facts, evidence, and documentation on a wide array of issues. However, Moore himself offers no answers, details, facts, evidence, or documentation to substantiate the above statements on diet.* For almost everything else in his book, he provides useful and reliable sources. For his food-related "advice," well, Clueless Mikey turns into Bill O'Reilly or Rush Limbaugh.

Now, if I could only drag Al Franken away from kissing Democrat ass long enough to come up with a juvenile and insulting title, I think I might write a book about the twenty-first century Renaissance man named Michael Moore.

*Anyone interested in my sources for taking Moore to task on his dietary comments, can check out my fully annotated article, "Fear of a Vegan Planet," in the book, Everything You Know Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide to Secrets and Lies (The Disinformation Company, 2002). You could also try e-mailing for documentation, but I won't be able to respond to everyone.

Mickey Z. is the author of two upcoming books: A Gigantic Mistake: Articles and Essays for Your Intellectual Self-Defense (Prime Books) and Seven Deadly Spins: Exposing the Lies Behind War Propaganda (Common Courage Press). His most recent book is The Murdering of My Years: Artists and Activists Making Ends Meet. He has been a vegan for nearly nine years and can be reached at mzx2@earthlink.net.

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