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George Will Follies Review
by
John Chuckman
August
22, 2003
I
used to read George Will occasionally just to see how strange words bent to
political purpose could become. No political commentator in America is better
able to use large words to say something at times indescribably odd. I don't
ask you to take this from me on faith. I offer examples, although none is
recent since my tolerance for this sort of stuff has worn thin.
By
outward appearance, George is the eternal American schoolboy. I imagine
George's conception of himself and the career he would follow may have been
fixed when, as a reticent, dour twelve-year old with cowlick and glasses, he
achieved an early social success blurting out a big word he had read, startling
his teacher and breaking up his class. He has been repeating the same trick for
decades to the applause of intense, pimply-faced boys in starched white shirts
with dog-eared copies of Ayn Rand tucked under their arms.
America's
plutocrat-Junkers do have courtiers serving them just as the great princes of
antiquity had. However, the pop-culture tastes of these modern great eminences
do not employ the likes of Walter Raleigh or Francis Bacon. Instead we have
Rush Limbaugh as one of the court jesters, still doing frat-boy jokes about
physical differences between men and women forty years after college, and we
have George as one of the sages, who appears from all the sage-like figures of
history and literature to have selected Polonius as his model for style.
A
few years ago, George nearly choked over plans to move a statue of some women
to the Capitol Rotunda in Washington. He was upset about an expense, as he
gracefully put it, to "improve the representation of X chromosomes."
The statue is of suffragists. George couldn't resist passing along a demeaning
nickname, "The Ladies in the Bathtub," he picked up somewhere,
perhaps at one of Trent Lott's good-ol'-boy get-togethers down on his
plantation.
George
tried to make the nickname an issue of artistic merit. Artistic merit? The
sculpture of the Capitol Rotunda is as uninspired a collection of stolid,
state-commissioned hulks as ever graced a giant marble room. Aesthetics have
never played a role.
George
said he'd "stipulate" the women were great Americans - an interesting
choice of words, "stipulate," the arid language of lawyers allowing
one to proceed in court or settle a contract without further discussion of some
(usually minor) point. He then observed "the supply of alleged greatness
long ago exceeded the supply of space for statues in the Rotunda."
Well,
clearly, choices do have to be made. And could it be news to anyone, apart from
survivalists, huddled in abandoned missile silos, savoring George by
candlelight as they bolt down freeze-dried snacks, that politics play a role in
every choice in Washington? My God, members of the U.S. Congress,
overwhelmingly male, actually have the flag that flies over the Capitol changed
about every thirty seconds to provide a steady supply of authentic relics for
interested, influential constituents, almost the way tens of thousands of true
splinters of the Cross were fashioned as princely gifts in the Middle Ages.
American presidents sign laws with fists full of pens, one for each loop of the
signature and as gift for each key supporter. Politics just doesn't get more
ridiculous anywhere.
What's
annoying about a statue to the movement that gave (slightly more than) half the
nation's people the right to vote? The importance of what it symbolizes equals
any democratic advance in the nation's history. Why should a symbol for this
achievement be the target of scorn?
The
Rotunda collection already had highly ambiguous symbols that never upset
George. Garfield was an undistinguished Civil War general and an
undistinguished politician, ennobled only by a frustrated office-seeker
assassinating him. Grant, despite his importance in the Civil War, was one of
the most dangerously incompetent presidents before Bush. Jackson was a violent
backwoods madman and unrepentant slave-holder, colorful and interesting at a
safe distance, but America would have been a far better place without most of
his presidential accomplishments. Hamilton, a truly great figure in American
history, was nevertheless a man who had absolutely no faith in democracy.
It
would be unfair to draw conclusions about George's prejudice only from his
opposition to the statue, but in writing about it, he managed, over and over,
to use words of scorn and derision.
How
do you explain a squib that the possible removal of a reproduction of Magna
Carta in favor of the statue "might displease a woman" (Queen
Elizabeth II, whose gift it was)? Wouldn't you say it might displease the
British people whose representative the Queen is? What explains his calling the
statue one "less to past heroines than to present fixations"? Why his
belittling description of the campaign for the statue as "entitlement
mentality"?
George
attacks one national symbol but is especially protective of others. He is
especially protective of the reputation of the Sage of Monticello, patron saint
to America's militia and survivalist crowd. Thomas Jefferson, much to the
surprise of people who know him only as a giant, worthy head on Mount Rushmore,
provided the prototype for two centuries of American shadow-fascism: use fine
words about freedom in your correspondence while living off the sweat of a
couple of hundred slaves; a man who never hesitated to stretch presidential
authority to its very limits, always seeking to extend American empire.
Jefferson was a secretive, suspicious, and vindictive man. He was not a friend
to the spirit of Enlightenment.
Conor
Cruise O'Brien, Irish scholar, published a biographical study called "The
Long Affair," in 1996, about Thomas Jefferson and his peculiar admiration
for the bloody excesses of the French Revolution. Well, the Sage for Archer
Daniels Midland went into a word-strewn fit over the book.
Perhaps,
the single thing about the book that most upset George was O'Brien's comparison
of a statement of Jefferson's to something Pol Pot might have said. Jefferson
wrote in 1793, at the height of the Terror, "…but rather than it [the
French Revolution] should have failed, I would have seen half the earth
desolated. Were there but an Adam and Eve left in every country, and left free,
it would be better than as it now is." George wrote off Jefferson's brutal
statement as "epistolary extravagance," and attacked O'Brien for
using slim evidence for an extreme conclusion about an American "hero."
George
went so far as favorably to compare the work of Ken Burns with that of O'Brien,
calling Burns "an irrigator of our capacity for political
admiration," as compared to one who "panders" to "leave our
national memory parched." Whew! See what I mean about words?
I
mean no disparagement of Ken Burns, but he produces the television equivalent
of coffee-table books. O'Brien is a scholar, the author of many serious books.
The very comparison, even without the odd language, tells us something about George.
But
language, too, is important. The irony is that George's own words,
"irrigator of our capacity for political admiration," sound
frighteningly like what we'd expect to hear from the Ministry of Culture in
some ghastly place (dare I write it?) such as Pol Pot's Cambodia.
But
George should have known better. This letter of Jefferson's is utterly
characteristic of views he expressed many different ways. Jefferson quite
blithely wrote that America's Constitution would not be adequate to defend what
he called liberty, that there would have to be a new revolution every 15 or 20
years, and that the tree of liberty needed to be nourished regularly with a
fresh supply of patriot blood.
Jefferson's
well-known sentimental view of the merits of sturdy yeomen farmers as citizens
of a republic and his intense dislike for industry and urbanization bear an
uncanny resemblance to Pol Pot's beliefs. Throwing people out of cities to
become honorable peasants back on the land, even those who never saw a farm,
was precisely how Pol Pot managed to kill at least a million people in
Cambodia.
Jefferson
is not now revered for his understanding of the economics of his day. He truly
had none, a fact which enabled the brilliant Alexander Hamilton to best him at
every turn. However this is not a mistake Jefferson's intellectual heirs make,
since money and power no longer come from plantations and slaves. They
understand money and pursue the principles of economics narrowly often to the
exclusion of other important goals in society. Jefferson is only of value to
them because of the powerfully-expressed words he left behind belittling the
importance of government, the only possible counterbalancing force to the
excesses that always arise from great economic growth.
What
is it about many of those on the right relishing the deaths of others in the
name of ideology? You see, much like the "chickenhawks" now running
Washington, sending others off to die, Jefferson never lifted a musket during
the Revolution. While serving as governor of Virginia, he set a pathetic
example of supporting the war's desperate material needs. He also gave us a
comic-opera episode of dropping everything and running feverishly away from
approaching British troops in Virginia (there was an official inquiry over the
episode). Jefferson turned down his first diplomatic appointment to Europe by
the new government out of fear of being captured by British warships, a fear
that influenced neither Benjamin Franklin nor John Adams.
But
real heroes aren't always, or even usually, soldiers. Jefferson, despite a long
and successful career and a legacy of fine words (expressing thoughts largely
cribbed from European writers), cannot be credited with any significant
personal sacrifice over matters of principle during his life. He wouldn't give
up luxury despite his words about slavery. He never risked a serious clash with
the Virginia Establishment over slave laws during his rise in state politics.
And in his draft of the Declaration of Independence, he lamely and at length blamed
the king of England for the slave trade, yet, when he wrote the words, it was
actually in his interest to slow the trade and protect the value of his
existing human holdings.
Unlike
Mr. Lincoln later, who had none of his advantages of education and good social
contacts, Jefferson did not do well as a lawyer. He never earned enough to pay
his own way, his thirst for luxury far outstripping even the capacity of his
many high government positions and large number of slaves to generate wealth.
Again, unlike Mr. Lincoln, Jefferson was not especially conscientious about
owing people money, and he frequently continued buying luxuries like silver
buckles and fine carriages while he still owed substantial sums.
Jefferson
spent most of his productive years in government service, yet he never stopped
railing against the evils of government. There's more than a passing
resemblance here to the empty slogans of government-service lifers like Bob
Dole and Newt Gingrich who enjoy their government pensions and benefits even as
they still complain about government. Jefferson's most famous quote praises the
least possible government, yet, as President, he brought a virtual reign of
terror to New England with his attempts to enforce an embargo against England
(the "Anglomen" as this very prejudiced man typically called the
English).
Jefferson,
besides having some truly ridiculous beliefs, like those about the evils of
central banks or the health efficacy of soaking your feet in ice water every
morning, definitely had a very dark side. Any of his political opponents would
readily have testified to this. Jefferson was the American Machiavelli.
It
was this side of him that put Philip Freneau on the federal payroll in order to
subsidize the man's libelous newspaper attacks on Washington's government -
this while Jefferson served in that very government. At another point,
Jefferson hired James Callender to dig up and write filth about political
opponents, an effort which backfired when Callender turned on Jefferson for not
fulfilling promises. Callender famously dug out and publicized the story about
Sally Hemings, Jefferson's slave-mistress, his late wife's illegitimate
half-sister (slavery made for some amazing family relationships), a story we
now know almost certainly to be true (by the way, dates point to Sally's
beginning to serve Jefferson in this capacity at 13 or 14 years old). It was
this dark side of Jefferson that resulted in a ruthless, years-long vendetta
against Aaron Burr for the sin of appearing to challenge Jefferson's election
to the presidency.
George
charged O'Brien with wronging Jefferson on his racial views by quoting from
Jefferson's youth and ignoring a different statement years later. But history
really doesn't support George. Jefferson was challenged by others over the
years on this issue, and, rather than argue a point on which he knew he was
vulnerable, he tended to keep quiet, but there is no good evidence he ever
changed his views, despite bits of writing, twinges of his own conscience
undoubtedly, that sound sympathetic about how blacks might have arrived at
their then piteous state.
Jefferson
expressed himself in embarrassingly clear terms about his belief in black
inferiority. And it is important to note that in doing so, he violated one of
his basic principles of remaining skeptical and not accepting what was not
proved, so this, clearly, was something he believed deeply. There is also
reliable evidence that on one occasion he was observed by a visitor beating a
slave, quite contradicting Jefferson's public-relations pretensions to saintly
paternalism.
When
Napoleon sent an army attempting to subdue the slaves who had revolted and
formed a republic on what is now Haiti, President Jefferson gave his full
consent and support to the bloody (and unsuccessful) effort.
Hero?
I have no idea how George defines the word, but by any meaningful standard,
Jefferson utterly fails.
In
another flight of fancy some years ago, George equated honest efforts to limit
campaign contributions to attacks on the First Amendment, about as silly an
idea as claiming the Second (well-ordered-militia) Amendment defends the right
of every household to own tanks and missile-launchers.
America
restricts many forms of commercial expression deemed destructive or dangerous.
Liquor advertising on television, certain forms of cigarette advertising,
pornography, and racist propaganda are among these. Are these attacks on the
First Amendment? Well, if they are, concerns for the Amendment are trumped by
concerns for protecting children from noxious substances.
I'm
not sure I can think of a more noxious thing than the complete twisting and
distorting of democracy by money in Washington. Restrictions on things like
liquor advertising testify that people recognize the suggestive, manipulative
nature of advertising, yet America's national elections have pretty well been
reduced to meaningless advertising free-for-alls between two vast pools of
money.
No
one objects to informative discussions of liquor, cigarettes, or racism on
television, yet any thoughtful person knows that advertising for the same
products or ideas is something else altogether. Do the most fundamental issues
of a nation deserve the debased treatment they receive in election advertising
campaigns? The Lincoln-Douglas Debates cost little but supplied voters with
real information, something that cannot be said for any money-drenched campaign
of the 20th Century.
When
a particular aspect of free speech, as the right to give and spend unlimited
amounts of money on elections, undermines democracy itself, it is not just one
Amendment at stake, it is the whole evolution and meaning of the American Constitutional
system.
Further,
large amounts of campaign money, in economic terms, represent barriers to entry
against newcomers, outside the two money-laden, quasi-monopoly parties. Try
marketing a new product against a firm with the market position of a Microsoft
or a Coke without tens of millions to spend, no matter how good your product,
and you'll see what I mean by barriers to entry. This is something many find
instinctively repellent and unfair in their most ordinary, everyday shopping
and business dealings. How much more so where it directly affects the entry of
candidates and new ideas into government?
Apart
from the sheer ugliness of watching members of Congress grovel for money, we
have many examples of money's pernicious influence on elections. The CIA has
spent God knows how many millions of dollars influencing elections in other
countries, yet observe America's great touchiness a few years back over even a
hint that China may have played the same trick. This only shows how well
Americans understand what money does to politics, yet whenever someone tries to
do something to improve a rotten situation, George and other courtiers switch
on their word processors and start felling trees.
My
last citation from George concerns his regret over the coarseness and lack of
civility in America, what George called "Dennis Rodman's America," or
in another place, "a coarse and slatternly society" jeopardizing
"all respect…."
Unfortunately,
George's historical errors gave him a false basis for measuring moral decline.
He wrote that the youthful George Washington was required to read "110
Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior." The fact is the highly ambitious
Washington chose the small book and forced himself to copy out the rules in
longhand so that he might become more acceptable for advancement in British
colonial society.
Young
Washington was heavily influenced by associating with families from the cream
of British colonial society, people not at all characteristic of average
colonial Americans. Most of America then was a rude, rough place. Newspapers
regularly libeled and abused with a ferocity we can scarcely imagine today.
Drunkenness and brawling were common. Fights often included such grotesque
practices as gouging out eyes. And, of course, the filthy brutality of slavery
was normal, on exhibit in many streets.
It
is simply wrong to say that American behavior has gone downhill from a golden
age. Europeans in the 19th century noted with horror the way Americans spit
tobacco juice everywhere - even on the floors and carpets of the most elegant
hotels. Visitors to the White House used to clomp around in muddy boots, pawing
and even walking on furnishings, cutting souvenir swatches from the drapes and
carpets and grabbing anything small enough to stuff under a coat - often
leaving the place a shambles after a large public gathering.
At
times there have been rules or practices that might now be cited as
exemplifying a lost age of gentility, but citing these in isolation
misrepresents the general tone of the past. While George cited the clean
language used in movies under the Production Code in the 1940s, he neglected to
mention that, while Hollywood worried about sexual innuendo in scripts, in any
American city a policeman might freely and openly address a black citizen as
"niggah." And while Hollywood fussed over suggestive words in
"Casablanca," it was still possible in some parts of the country to
lynch a black man and suffer no penalty.
But
George is more concerned about sexual coarseness than violence. This happens to
be a characteristic America's Puritans. It has also been characteristic of
tyrant-temperaments. Hitler did not permit off-color or suggestive stories told
in his presence. Lincoln, on the other hand loved a good off-color joke.
Now,
again consider George's words about "a coarse and slatternly society"
jeopardizing "all respect…." Slattern? Just what century does he
think it is?
In
fact, it is easily observed that people who use foul language are expressing
anger and frustration, and there are lots of angry people in America: the
pressures of the society do that to you. Trying to get at the cause of the
anger would raise a discussion of civility to something worthwhile, but George
seemed simply to want to "tut tut!" a bit like some marquis in the
late 18th Century worrying about the niceties just before the deluge.
John Chuckman lives in Canada and is
former chief economist for a large Canadian oil company. He writes frequently
for Yellow Times.org and other publications.
* The
Painful Horrors of Political Autism
* Enron-Style
Management in a Dangerously Complex World
* The Real
Clash of Civilizations: Liberals Versus the Crypto-Nazis
* Banality,
Bombast, and Blood
* Through A
Glass Darkly: An Interpretation of Bush's Character
* Of
Blair, Hussein, and Genocide