November 11, 2002

The following is a letter to Presidentmoron.com, a website devoted to

skewering George W. Bush.

Dear Presidentmoron.com people,

I have been following your web site for a number of months now, and while I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of the Moron In Chief and his smirking band of evildoers, I have for some time now felt that those who have aided and abetted his most egregious misdeeds should be called to task for their involvement in the tragedy which has befallen us. This would be the Democratic Party.

While it is certainly true that the Smirking Chimp, his party, and his forward thinking cabal of CEO cabinet members, masquerading as “regulators”, have propelled the country into unparalleled depths of depravity, it was not obligatory that the Dems had to go along for the ride. With Daschle and Gephardt caving to Bush's absurd, continually shifting excuses for perpetual imperial conquest, what hope was there that average American double cab pickup drivin', flag wavers would get hip to the game? The loyal opposition has remained almost steadfastly loyal to its opposition. There would have been no dishonor in going down swinging in an effort to enlighten the American people as to the motives and agenda of the BushCheneyEnronExxonMoron thugs who stole the election. What is the worst thing that could have happened? That the thugs might gain control of the executive, legislative and judiciary branches of our government, as well as owning the media? Gee, I sure hope that never happens.

The problem stems from the fact that the Dems, while not functionally identical to the extreme right, are functionally indistinguishable for the purposes of getting the attention of beer swilling, football head, flag waving, TV watching, Chevy Ford guys. Where was Gore when Asscroft was being confirmed? Where was Daschle when Enron blew up? Why was Lieberman unable to capitalize on the fiasco as head of the Enron “investigation”? Let me guess. Was it because his check register was a smoking gun, and would have revealed his own involvement with Enron?

The Dems have unwittingly presided over an incremental slide towards totalitarianism. The Democratic Leadership Council, fearful that the Reagan Revolution might become more than a media brainwashing PR stunt, deliberately led the Democratic party to the right, courted corporate approval, and generally tried to appear as right wing as the Republicans. This succeeded in getting Clinton elected twice, but in his eight years, failed to seriously advance a progressive agenda. Now both parties fall all over each other in an attempt to appear like the other. Gephardt believes he must mimic a militaristic buffoon to be considered 'Presidential', and Bush dresses up like a member of the peasant class for a photo op with the rescued coal miners, so all the dumb peasants will identify with him, presumably believing that anyone who is as apparently unsophisticated as they are, must be OK. Only now, the Repubs, sensing the assimilation and annihilation of the Democratic party, are feeling a little more free to bare their fangs, and seemingly don't even mind being photographed roasting a few peasants on the backyard barbecue.

The evil is NOT limited to only Republicans, although this in no way is intended to suggest that you should mute your criticisms of them. They deserve everything you can throw at them. But the Democrats must clone some spine and inject it into their lifeless corpses. Only morons continue to bend over and get reamed, believing it makes them look Presidential.

Keep up the good work, but I suggest you expand the criteria that you use to identify and smoke out Morons.

-- Paul Dean

Paul Dean is a musician and all-around pain-in-the-ass to Northern California’s leading mouthpieces of state-corporate propaganda . . . err rather “newspapers.” He lives in Sebastopol, CA

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