Civilizing Clash: The Brain of Empire
by Kap Fulton
April 15, 2004

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 "It is long accepted by the missionaries that morality is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing people wore."

-- Alex Carey (Australian Philosopher)

"The lack of balance between the birth-rate of the 'unfit' and the 'fit', admittedly the greatest present menace to the civilization, can never be rectified by the inauguration of a cradle competition between these two classes. The example of the inferior classes, the fertility of the feeble-minded, the mentally defective, the poverty-stricken, should not be held up for emulation to the mentally and physically fit, and therefore less fertile, parents of the educated and well-to-do classes. On the contrary, the most urgent problem today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and physically defective. Possibly drastic and Spartan methods may be forced upon American society if it continues complacently to encourage the chance and chaotic breeding that has resulted from our stupid, cruel sentimentalism."

-- Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, from her manifesto The Pivot of Civilization

"Great Spirit gave us this land. White men came and killed our animals and destroyed our land, then told us to go to work for a living. We don't want what they call civilization." -- Crazy Horse

(State of the Civilization Address)

First off, let me just say that I am for liberty, freedom, and civilizations. I am against the uncivilized. And furthermore, I will not tolerate nor negotiate with any person unless they are wearing a business suit or a military uniform. Case Closed.

Insurgency from Saddam loyalists will be counteracted with collateral damage. Muqtada As-Sadr's militia is illegal. Soldiers must have at least a high school diploma. His fighters do not have health insurance. They do not have a G.I. Bill to pay for college. The illegal fighters in Iraq do not use the necessary equipment to fight the American army. Iraqi militias cannot offer Navy housing or discounts on soaps and other fine products like at our Naval Exchange. Osama bin Laden and Al-Sadr shop at thrift stores. They do not represent the future of a unified and free Iraq.

The American people cry at night. They weep for the lack of Starbucks in Baghdad. They dream for rivers that are polluted like those in our Great Basin. The civilized believe Iraq will one day be a jewel for modern and private prisons. America is proud to host 25% of the world's prison population, while our noble land hosts only 8% of the world's people. Our laws are THAT good.

Our beliefs, those of a civilized nation, are strong and secure. We will not negotiate with the terrorist entities of Nature. Sharks are biting arms off young surfer girls. Mountain lions are harassing our beloved cyclists. Africanized bees may overtake us all. But I have faith in the American people. We have outlawed Chinese herbs and narco-terrorist plants like Cannabis Sativa. Our soldiers have instructions to remove these devilish plants as they overtake our communities.

We are taking a hard line against the evil-doers who created Nature.

We have gone to Mars as we look for the terrorists who force these evil creatures and plants onto this great civilization. I ask you, America, to bear with me while we pave every river with concrete. Because oceans will no longer protect our civilization. We need strong decision making regarding AIDS in Africa. Bill Gates, praise be to him, has offered billions of dollars and his knowledge of mass-production to strike at the heart of the evil-doer virus. As Tony Blair says, Africa is a "scar" on our civilization. We must show Africa how to be healthy by introducing low-carb meals and Pfizer pills to their great nation.

Bear with me America. Our civilization will live on. For this is not only a clash of civilizations; this is about God. We believe it is the right thing to do. For the security of the American people and future civilized people: God Bless.

-- President of the Civilized States of America

Dear Mr. President:

"I have the honor to inform you that the thirty-eight Indians and half-breeds ordered by you for execution were hung yesterday at Mankato at 10 a.m. Everything went off quietly and the other prisoners are well secured."

-- Telegram from Brigadier-General H. H. Sibley to President Abraham Lincoln after the largest mass hanging in the history of the United States, St. Paul, Minnesota December 27, 1862.

Kap Fulton is editor of the San Diego Moon. He can be reached at: aka@cts.com

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