Ecce Mortis: The Accused: The Lobbyist

As Plantman waited in the lobby for a CGC Official to lead him to his next task, he was approached by a Lobbyist pitching Dereliction Deterrent Technologies (DDT),  a subsidiary of Tree of Knowledge Incorporated (TKI).

The Lobbyist pitched the products of DDT to The Lawmakers, who would have to choose a method of execution concomitant with the values of The City.

The Lobbyist spoke in earnest, as if Plantman were a Lawmaker himself.

“DDT has founded itself on termination technologies of the highest order,” said The Lobbyist. “Cities across The Nation are using its methodologies to eliminate viral deviance in a quick, non-threatening, humane sequence.”

DDT sponsored a program at Universities across The Nation called Termination Concepts (TC).   TC encouraged Young Citizens (YC) to enter the debate as to how to eliminate Viral Deviance (VD) and other scourges that plagued The Nation (1N) and its Cities.

Two hallmark products of DDT were the Violent Offender Interruption Device (VOID) and Violent Anti-social Personnel Elimination Resource (VAPER).

“This is a serious and society-minded business,” said The Lobbyist. “Our welfare is at stake.  The greatest minds in termination technology work with DDT for the improvement of our Nation’s Cities.  Serious business, indeed.”

Such was the technology that VAPER could eliminate a societal bug with one quick spray to the face (each can itself was guaranteed 100 or more executions, depending on the size and resilience of the Derelict, or The City received its money back) that would neutralize a Viral Deviant (VD) in a matter of seconds, while VOID used cutting edge radiation technologies to eliminate a selected VD with one millisecond blast, bursting all vessels in the manner of nuclear fallout, but leaving the body clean in its garb (rubber or latex suits were the suggested outerwear — knee-length latex dresses for females — to humanize the VD in the eyes of the squeamish observer while prohibiting the “splash effect” of air-borne particles, fluids and fleshy matter occasionally observed during radiation based terminations), veiling whatever residual ugliness such a death, one of the quickest, most humane deaths in termination technology’s repertoire, might reveal. No fainting witnesses, no gory photographs.

“A nylon mask to cover the face and polyurethane plugs to prevent blood escaping from eyes nose mouth, and voilà, a clean, quick, humane termination!” crowed The Lobbyist.

The Lobbyist’s mission was twofold. One, to promote the various termination technologies devised by DDT, and, two, to lobby for the televising of executions/terminations.

The Lobbyist said that large data sectors in The National Information Pyramid (NIP) suggested low crime rates in cities that have made televised executions a regular feature of daily programming.

Plantman could not help but remark that this amounted to nothing less than free television advertisement for DDT.

“Yes, but DDT benefits everyone,” said The Lobbyist. “It exists for the betterment of society, so what could be wrong with advertising its good works? It would be more of a public service announcement than strict advertising for DDT.”

“But DDT already has a monopoly on termination technologies Nation-wide,” said Plantman.

“Can we help it if we’re the best?  In a matter as serious as termination technology, society can afford nothing less than the best, for the safety of its inhabitants and the moral instruction of its young.  What’s good for DDT. . . ”

A thriving, safe city is a satisfied customer.  DDT provided the ultimate VD solutions, according to The Lobbyist. Results were uploaded daily to NIP.

“This includes technical research as well as statistical results, opinion polls and more,” boasted The Lobbyist. “NIP data, as well as other educational information are available directly from DDT’s site on The Network.  As a government contractor for various major cities, DDT has a high privilege level on NIP and is permitted to share an abundance of data with anyone who takes the time to examine the site, which includes real time videos of some of DDT’s most successful products in action. DDT works closely with city administrators to ensure quality  terminations.  There have been few botched terminations, less than one-percent of all VD’s processed across The Nation, and these have been given the full attention of DDT’s quality-control specialists.

“A city is like a tree.  It must grow in fertile soil, under a vibrant sun.  Clean, purifying water must nourish it, and fertilizer.  But fungus, insects, viruses, must be destroyed immediately, lest they overcome the roots and eat into the tree, causing corruption of the leaves, rotting of the branches, and destruction of the mighty organism itself.  It only takes one germ to spread a plague; it only takes one bug to spark an infestation.”

“So you’re The Nation’s exterminators,” said Plantman.

“We are The Nation’s gardeners,” corrected The Lobbyist.

The Staff of /dev/null is the Staff of /dev/null. Read other articles by The Staff.