Blue Velvet is run by an all-women’s collective of what Mayor Michael Bloomberg called “some of the most talented female-impersonators on the New York Club scene.”
The ghosts of William Burroughs and J. Edgar Hoover will read from their new book, No Small Change: Gender Bending for National Security and Profit.
Discussion to follow.
It was the fictionalized postulate of Mr. Burroughs that “with the right chemicals and gadgets, women could be easily replaced by men,” which inspired Mr. Hoover to initiate Operation Switcheroo, initially to enable him to become the woman he’d always wanted to become so Jack Kennedy would finally love him for “who he really was.” With the support of Alan Dulles, the project was re-directed toward the goal of kidnapping Fidel Castro, altering his gender, and returning him to Havana, beard intact, to face a ridicule so devastating he would not be able to hide himself, not even behind an Iron Curtain.
The rest, of course, is logged in the lucrative annals of the Healthcare Industry (formerly known by the archaic, misleading appellation, “Medicine”).
Radical Empathizers, Sympathizers and Obamabots will be happy to know that the ghosts of George Sand, Anais Nin and Oscar Wilde have been banned from all events for their collaboration on the rebuttal book, Fun with Androgyny: Defining Gender on the Cheap written ostensibly as an alternative to the costly sex change operations performed by the NIH Master of Protean Unhingement Sex Surgery (PUSS), Dr. Felix Mengele, especially for those poor, penniless, uninsured androgynes born before the era of Big Science — or in the wrong market region of the planet.
The book, praised by such luminaries as David Bowie, Patti Smith, Bjork and Dr. Frank N’ Furter, was rightly lambasted as reactionary and genderbenderphobic by talk show hosts throughout the Nation, and the authors forbidden from ever appearing on the Tofu and Mineral Water circuit again.
Before a small gathering of spirits protesting in front of the Blue Velvet Bookstore, Anais Nin read a statement which said, in part, “No one should be oppressed, ever, under any circumstances, but it seems like the actual oppressors, in this case, are the guys in white coats and stethoscopes.”
She and her coterie of ambisexual ghosts were driven off the premises by book-store clerks and clientele wielding an arsenal of crystals, healing herbs, Camomile Tea and reciting aloud passages of literary criticism by Edmund “Bunny” Wilson, Lionel Trilling and Northrop Frye.
Organic New York State wine, stone-ground wheat crackers and vegan soy-and-seitan Brie, Havarti and Camembert will be served after the reading.