Memo: Digicide:

Submitting Agent: Dr. Octavius Spaeiouk, Special Advisor
Contract Protocol: analysis per Limited On Assignment Notice (LOAN) Contract
Company Sponsor: Departments of Human Resource Management

Executive Warning Brief: Don’t be Brief Executives

Downsize. Lateralize. Outsource.

A photograph (high-rez; JPEG, PNG) is worth a thousand herds, especially if it shows crying kids who can’t eat chocolate cause the Candy-man’s on strike.

Cannibalize assets. Reinvent the deal.

Smash your atoms, convert their billion-fold particulate remains to the requisite electric penny-fragment phantasmagoria (coin of the realm), and sock away the stash  — encrypted — as “distributed investment-loss reduction adjustments” across a broad spectrum of low-access diversified clouds (i.e. “stone-wall ‘em”).

Don’t hesitate. Or The Unseen will kill you.

You think you know Them. They’re not what They seem.

They’re invisible. Unburdened by limits and hard assets, they soar beyond mere human labor and unwieldy capital; chained not by brick-and-mortar retail outlets, traffic jams, loud machines. The Unseen  — those gray-suit Tarzans! — streak from filament to filament of sky-blue sky.

They’ve never known real time.  Born to bits, they’ll blow you off the map.

You won’t know what hit you, only that your wealth has vanished, you’ve been ruined.  Blip.  All eight or nine digits — gone.  Erased by noon.

And your remains?  Cast among hoards of stunted children, baffled proles, extraneous scholars, and radicals in dotage.

They’ll banish you, damn you to the harried place, the hurried place, the tired place where muscles weep and lungs strain oxygen from slow, brown air.

The place of broken gadgets, where hearts fail and dynamos rust; the place they warned you of in school.

America.

There you shall wander ever after.

Unless…you fill that gaping damned hole under the bottom-line.

Be hungry as a hole — or starve.

 

Dr. Spaeiouk (pronounced "spake, speak, spike, spoke and spook" according to both class and dialect in various regions of his native land), has been a researcher and perception manager since immigrating to The Nation many years ago. He might or might not be working on his memoir, "Spaeiouk, Memory," which might or might not be plausibly denied. Don't know him? Not to worry. He most certainly knows you. Very well. Very well indeed... Read other articles by Dr. Spaeiouk, or visit Dr. Spaeiouk's website.