Open Wide, Mister Voter, Say “Huh?”

Please, Medicine Man, MD, I feel pains,
and Paul Ryan’s vouchers cannot come soon enough.
Usual pain started yesterday when I looked at my pay-stub,
a bi-weekly $407.24 deduction for family health insurance,
I prostrate before a Blue Cross, hide behind armor of Blues
until unbearable pain overcame at Price Chopper market –
milk at $4.25 per gallon, chicken on sale, $1.29 / pound,
apples at $1.99 per pound, in memory of Johnny Appleseed,
I purchased two (2) prime specimens, inspected, worm hole-free.

Medicine Man marveled at me, understood my pain,
stared at shoes, come, come disinherited Hippocrates,
is Veteran-medic Ron Paul in the house?
House leans on oak cane, single-payer health coverage disdain,
Medicine Man spoke, “a voucher a day keeps vultures away.”

Return home, coat-pocket bulged with Big-Pharma samples,
Cymbalta for nerve pain, Nexium to conquer fast-food intake habits,
a prescription for Lisinopril, generic for brand-name Zestoretic,
I am advised to exercise more, sleep 8-hours, update resume,
with smile, Medicine Man notes “crap-food is deadlier than al-Qaeda.”

So many vultures overhead, I wish a healthy one drops from sky.
I pluck feathers, dissect, toss carcass in pot, make vulture soup,
charge neighborhood consumers what market will bear.
I shall send ultimatums to global slaughterhouses,
I shall advance female vulture-capability to produce newborns
at unprecedented rate, a multi-vitamin vulture in every pot.
Medicine Man, do you marvel how cows now give birth to 30-calves?
Just wait until I break vulture DNA Code –
they will one day spell “vouchers” in shoot-out debate,
Romney-clan will re-ignite War against 47% Boiled Potato-Famines,
very wealthy and healthy, I will peer into inflamed Obamacare mouths,
instruct multitude to say ahhh, they stick-out tongues at me,
Mormon entrepreneur instincts kick-in – Hey America,
how’s Prime Human Tongue at unspeakably low $2.00 a pound sound?1

  1. At a downtown Scranton delicatessen, one can purchase, on special, a Cow Tongue sandwich. Tastes very good, it is pickled, sliced thin, topped with spicy mustard, cost is $6.99, and consumer gets a bowl of Matzo Ball soup with the deal, quite a full-belly, and everyone knows how to spell “relief”without need for specialized wonder-cures like Xanazandupril and Gdziekyriodivinazymene. []

Charles Orloski lives in Taylor, Pa. He can be reached at: orlovzek13@al.com. Read other articles by Charles.